So many things keep people up at night, like why Jollof Rice feels incomplete without chicken. Or how Pizza is just bread and stew that studied abroad. Anyway sha, Twitter user, @Kristin_obute was kind enough to tell the hilarious story of Jollof Rice’s love life and how Fried Rice joined the cool kids of Nigerian food.
If i was Jollof rice i would be curving bare guys in the food chain uno ??
— Small Lee
(@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
New DM from Yam: want to hang out?
Jollof: Nigga please where do you see people having Yam with Jollof ??? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Be out there dating one fine laiiskeen plantain doing twitter couple ??
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Moi moi would be that nigga that wants to date me but he’s 5’4 so we besties ?
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Fried rice is that friend that knows she’s prettier than me but doesn’t understand the hype around me..lowkey likes plantain…
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
I would be turning up in all the big parties n events..niggas know its goan be live if I’m there..but i dont club cos good girl uno
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Coleslaw/Salad giving me by the side uno..all that cream..making me glow lowkey… my account balance popping too cos they loaded ?
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Eba would be awon haters..always at parties with me but most people pick me first..think i want their man..but Jollof n Egusi..ewww please??
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Friends with Agidi cos she dating my bestie Moi moi..Eba n her Amala crew hating on us cos Agidi is IJGB of Swallow Squad..
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
They lowkey think we tweet bout them but?? its just RTs from FatTwitter Slander uno ?
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Fried rice claims she’s my besties..always photobombing my selfies.. post on IG #Besties#MixedRice but still gossips to White rice bout me?
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
White rice doesn’t like anyone of us but somehow gets involved in all our drama…she’s the keep me anon that tells SDM bout our gist??
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Now everyone knows Plantain gave Fried Rice at Socialiga and Salad paid for my Tw.wig tab??? Eba n co have alot to tweet..Moi moi in my dms?
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Moi moi talmbout gimme a chance.. but he’s 5’4 and I’m Jollof… plus Agidi is my guy..so I’m posting snaps with him but curving his ass??
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Plantain replying my snaps like “Wyd thought y’all just friends” “it was just once uno” “i dont even like that bitch” “u aint all that uno”
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Yam dropping subs like “date a good man” like fam aint nobody want your rachy ass.. Beans said shes been itchy since yall dated..check ursef
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Beans in my dms like “sorry babe” but i know shes tryna find out if i would go with her ex Yam..likes his dumbass even if he gave her STI ??
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
I dont know why shes hanging with dead guys uno she could be with a guy like Plantain but she doesnt think shes that buff..and hes proud AF
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Akara is just Faving n laughing…Anon Twitter… everyone knows you are giving Pap yo.. but forming long distance with Custard but ?
(@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Custard is sending you all those pretty shoes and bags you use as your Avi… we really dont care uno.. keep my name outta ur tweets??
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Moi moi DMs (been a while spoke): sorry about my sister (Akara) me: Don curr
Moi moi: ur ex just left..i think he’s dating Beans but lowks — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
I saw that shii coming uno..but I’m petty so i send “Hey Big Head” to Plantain just to Fuvk shit up a bit….
Plantain: You alright babe? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
*Airs Dm*
Tweets:Weekend Goan be live with my goons *puts old picture of me and beans* we aint even that close..but i know he would see it? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Beans replies: “Yass gurll turn up”
Me thinking Fam I’m setting ur ass up.. Tweets: ?? *4 missed call* Plantain Text: U coming Sat?.. P. — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Replies Plantain: Not sure..you?
Plantain: Yeah.. we should talk Airs text.. stress *Ice retweeted your tweet* — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Ice Dms:Coming Sat? goan be live..Cookies bringing some dope shii..bring ur girls..Free drinks for y’all, help me RT my Pinned tweet
Me:Aii — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Small Chops: Sat? Who’s coming?
Beef: Yayy *shares tweet with gizzard* That babe on ur mans TL yo Gizzard: fucking hoe kmt *Gizzard faves* — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016Gizzard shares screenshot*
Small chops: why u faving tweets tho Gizzard: you know why Small chops: nothing happened Group chat: Me:
Egg:?
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Pizza: thats what they all say next thing they are giving your bestfriend in Socialiga
Egg:??????? Me: still sore fam???? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Gizzard: Savage ?Dead???
Pizza: btw he’s dating ur short bestfriends ugly sister..deadass hiding her ugly ass Me:?????? be nice Egg: dying?? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Pizza: Egg might be dying cos Yam probabaly gave her some shii uno?
(@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
BBM*
Me:Babe howfar? It was a joke na Egg: i really like him Me: we know..Pizza has bad mouth free her jo Egg:only talk to her cos of you — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
*Jollof Added Egg to Group Chat*
Me: Ice said i should invite you guys for Saturday Pizza: Ice? The one dating that babe with fake accent? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Egg: Oshey IJGB..i ‘ve the real init accent
Pizza: ode? Me:its not fake jo Gizzard: Abeg she’s always trying to copy Coke jor..Fake famzer — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Me: but Coke n ice tho??
Pizza: Cookkeee n icceeee?? Egg: those two? Gizzard:they are bestfriends Me:?? Egg:free that side?? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Gizzard: Wait?! They are not just bestfriends
Me: guyy? Pizza: Like you and plantain that year? Egg:????? Gizzard:Fuck you guys..??? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Me:lowks Coke n Ice ?
Pizza: Coke n Ice is fucking dope yo!..they need to be a serious thing? Egg: Pizza check Icecreams snap? Pizza: Why? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Pizza:GUYYSSS Icecreams in Lag n he got a job in my office..hohoho???
Me:Wait Dominos? Pizza:No Coldstone Egg:Yooooo ??? Gizzard:?????? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Pizza:Rarrr I’ve a new topping and it aint cheese??
Me: you are disgusting??? Egg:Sav?? Gizzard: Creamy cheese? Me: Guys?? Pizza: Uno?? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Me:Remember that guy i used to collect from when i was with Plantain
Egg: the rich guy Pizza:Salad abi Coleslaw whats that his name? Me: ?? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Gizzard: ehen what happened?
Me: he’s with Fish now? Pizza:wasnt she dating that IJGB Chips Egg:?? Me:uno Gizzard:that babe stinks yo bleh — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Egg:so Chips is Singu?
Me: Stop Gizzard:i thought you and yam…? Pizza:Hoee!! Go gurlll? Me:Guys..Chicken just Dmed me? Pizza:?? Egg: Oho? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Pizza: You guyyss go to Twitter Plaintain n Beans Engaged..Fried Rice Called Beans black and Ugly?
Me:oh shit???? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Amala: lmaoo cc @ Fried rice
Fried rice: Nobody called ur black round self here FOH
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Akara: Hoes everywhere? smelling TL bleh
Custard: Catfish too is talking Bread: @ custard guy delete that Custard: cos you fuvking her now? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Ewa G: @ bread @ Custard Oh?!
Bread: i just think its disrespectful to disrespect women EwaG: Are you fuking her or not?@ bread Me: cc @ egg — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Egg: Somebody that can sleep with anything that moves??
Bread: But you slept with someone’s fiance? Potato: @ plantain Eba: ??? Beans: huh? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Asun: Big Endorsement coming through?
Pohnmo: Guyyy GOAT?? Bole: Epp?? Suya: New single with Asun we move? White Rice?? Asun: Basic bitches — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Coke: Fall in love with your bestfriend
Pizza: you go girl Coke: lool what? Gizzard:??? *Ice Faved tweet* Malibu: @ coke Word? Me:?? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Snail: the night is dark..thats how stars are made in your darkest moments
Agidi: this one is always high.. Moi moi: Slow?? guyy show na — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Jollof: ? Wedding fleek with bae @ Chicken
Chicken:?? Fried Rice: Damn Gurll what seasoning did you use Jollof: Knorr Cubes Egg: Goals?? — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Semovita:they will steal this ones new bae again?
(@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Pizza: gurll??
Egg: Chill are we friends with Fried rice again Gizzard: i think so Me: i miss her? Pizza:Yass *Fried rice added 2 groupchat* — Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
*The End*
— Small Lee (@Kristine_Obute) July 14, 2016
Shout out to @Kristine_obute. You’re officially crazier than all of us at Zikoko.
