16 Annoying Patients Every Nigerian Doctor Has Ever Treated

1. Those ones that are afraid of hospitals.

#DearPatient if you choose to go to babaláwo/church instead of hospital, don't come after they've nearly killed you and be giving us hedek ?
— HBD @TCharis_DRO (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016

2. What is internal heat please?

#dearpatient
Me: So what's wrong with you?
Patient: I have internal heat
Me: pic.twitter.com/dbIk3D1k2K
— TURAKI MD (@EL_KUT) October 30, 2016

3. Those one that crack dry jokes.

#Dearpatient me : WHY ARE you here today?
Patient : I came to play ni (sarcastic reply)
Me : pic.twitter.com/C4T6wxIpwT
— ismail (@Kcharm017) October 30, 2016

4. Those ones that never remember their periods.

#DearPatient when was your last menstrual period…. pic.twitter.com/Orgl6MiMHg
— marinze sheila (@Marinze_Sheila) October 30, 2016

5. The ones that patronise 419 doctors.

#DearPatient
Don't go to nollywood Doctor's o..You cannot come and go and die. pic.twitter.com/8wUeKi5fGS
— Ogundare Taye Tobi (@tawiotobi) October 30, 2016

6. When your multipurpose agbo finally stops working.

#DearPatient
Me: So how long have you had this ulcer
Patient: 12 yrs!??
Me: So why are you just coming?
P: The agbo is no more working
Me: pic.twitter.com/bMebfv7lSw
— Master Jungunu (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016

7. Somebody can’t even play with these patients sha.

#Dearpatient
Me: is there anyone else in ur family suffering from this condition?
Patient: Leave my children out of this ?
— 6 (@Dayo_styls) October 30, 2016

8. Those ones that don’t really know what a hospital is.

Me:#dearpatient what brought you here?
Patient:as i am here now i can hear people talking about me at the junction.. pic.twitter.com/TvGt2YxqsA
— Coke Loverrr♥ (@Mz_mowgee) October 30, 2016

9. This funny one about Caesarean Sections.

#DearPatient if I tell you that you need CS because your baby's head is too big for vaginal delivery and you say "God forbid" pic.twitter.com/x6HjjmDm8i
— Master Jungunu (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016

10. When a patient thinks palm oil is water.

#DearPatient drinking olive oil is not part of the prescription I wrote for you..

You are not danfo's engine!!! pic.twitter.com/AauzVHI0WW
— IG: brammy_ (@brammmy_) October 30, 2016

11. Those ones that are too superstitious.

Me:How many Children do u ve?#Dearpatient: In Yorubaland we don't count children for the parent
Me:Yoruba Sea nko? pic.twitter.com/aaGWx4xVR1
— DJtegzi_#MobMusic (@Tegzoid_d_don) October 30, 2016

12. Some patients even use style to set P.

#dearpatient

I won't give you my number and I won't marry your daughters.

I also won't stop pricking you with this cannula.

HOLD STILL.
— Dr. Lucifer (@steppino45) October 30, 2016

13. The ones that want to turn the doctor to a teacher.

#DearPatient
Patient: So you're a medical student
Me: Yes sir
Patient: I need you to mentor my son, he'd like to become a doctor
Me: pic.twitter.com/qBNUrVOmeV
— Ahmed ? (@bhorlagnificent) October 30, 2016

14. When your patient is the cause of his own sickness.

#dearpatient
Me: your BP has risen,what do u do for a livin
Pt: nairabet
Me: pic.twitter.com/uf94bXbB8B
— Alausa seun (@Starboi_cares) October 30, 2016

15. Those oversabi patients that like forming ITK.

#DearPatient
Me: Pls you'll need to do some tests
Patient: Every time test, kilode?
Me: Shey I should just recite incantations for you then? pic.twitter.com/S5U2C3R3m4
— Master Jungunu (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016

16. Those patients that can lie for Africa.

Me: So your child was it via Vaginal delivery or C/S?
Patient: It was by the grace of God doctor
Me:…. pic.twitter.com/ZlNNeDwH9Y
— Imokhai (@SickSage_) October 30, 2016

16 Annoying Patients Every Nigerian Doctor Has Ever Treated

1. Those ones that are afraid of hospitals.

2. What is internal heat please?

3. Those one that crack dry jokes.

4. Those ones that never remember their periods.

5. The ones that patronise 419 doctors.

6. When your multipurpose agbo finally stops working.

7. Somebody can’t even play with these patients sha.

8. Those ones that don’t really know what a hospital is.

9. This funny one about Caesarean Sections.

10. When a patient thinks palm oil is water.

11. Those ones that are too superstitious.

12. Some patients even use style to set P.

13. The ones that want to turn the doctor to a teacher.

14. When your patient is the cause of his own sickness.

15. Those oversabi patients that like forming ITK.

16. Those patients that can lie for Africa.

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16 Annoying Patients Every Nigerian Doctor Has Ever Treated

1. Those ones that are afraid of hospitals.

2. What is internal heat please?

3. Those one that crack dry jokes.

4. Those ones that never remember their periods.

5. The ones that patronise 419 doctors.

6. When your multipurpose agbo finally stops working.

7. Somebody can’t even play with these patients sha.

8. Those ones that don’t really know what a hospital is.

9. This funny one about Caesarean Sections.

10. When a patient thinks palm oil is water.

11. Those ones that are too superstitious.

12. Some patients even use style to set P.

13. The ones that want to turn the doctor to a teacher.

14. When your patient is the cause of his own sickness.

15. Those oversabi patients that like forming ITK.

16. Those patients that can lie for Africa.

About the Authors

More by this author

OUR MISSION

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