Going clubbing in Nigeria (especially Lagos) tends to alternate from being the best to being the worst, but mostly it is just stress. Here are 15 pictures the regular Nigerian clubber will immediately get:
1. When you want to enter the club, but the bouncer is misbehaving.
I came to party, and party I must.
2. When you get bounced and you start thinking about your life.
So basically you’re not worthy to share oxygen with strangers.
3. When you enter and the smell of sweat and weave hits you.
“What the hell?”
4. When you hear the cost of alcohol.
Wait, WHAT?
5. When you are managing your small bottle and you see one yahoo boy popping.
See that one.
6. When a celebrity comes and carries all the hotties to the VIP section.
Why today?
7. When the DJ refuses to have sense and play the song you want to hear.
Why havent I heard “It’s Young Jon the Wicked Producer” yet?
8. When you think they are hitting on you because you’re cute, then you hear “it’ll cost you.”
Hay God! See my life outside.
9. When just want to dance on your own and a stranger starts grinding on you.
Is your uncle mad?
10. When the person that was forming for you on the dance floor comes to beg for drinks.
Gerrarahia mehn shii!
11. When the club starts banging but people are still pressing phone.
Will you people stand up and dance?
12. When the DJ kills the vibe by playing a foreign song.
Is this one mad?
13. When the POS isn’t working and you have to carry your drunk self to go find cash.
What is this life?
14. When the club is about to close and the DJ starts playing stupid songs to get you to leave.
No vex, we are going.
15. When you finally leave and you realize you smell like an ashtray.
“Never again.”
…until the next weekend, of course.