1. They won’t have the sex talk with you, but will expect you to be a virgin when you marry.
2. They say “well done” when they see you doing nonsense.
3. They praise you in front of their friends, but insult you at home.
4. They say one thing with their mouth and the total opposite with their eyes.
5. They take you to their best friend’s house, then vex when you accept food.
6. They see you dodging a slap as a call to war.
7. They don’t care about you passing in school, they care about you passing everyone else.
8. They’ll beat you and then vex when you start crying.
“I don’t want to see your crocodile tears.”
9. They don’t feel guilty when they “help you keep” your money and never return it.
10. Turning 21 doesn’t make you an adult to them, you have to bring a spouse first.
11. They don’t care that you’re now an “adult” they will still slap you when you do anyhow.
12. They don’t apologize, this is the closest you’ll get:
13. They love you, but you’ll probably never hear them say it.
14. They only know Medicine, Law, and Engineering when it’s time for you to fill JAMB form.
15. They really really LOVE shouting.
