1. “Sorry” “Sorry for yourself”
In our defense, adults are also guilty of this, but regardless of which age you are, it didn’t and still doesn’t make any sense.
2. “Are you mad?” “I’m not mad but I’m your master”
What did that even mean?
3. “Merry Christmas” “Shame to you”
This probably started as a way of making fun of people who couldn’t pronounce “s” properly. But, really people? No, shame on YOU. Shame. SHAME.
4. “Shut up” “Shut down” OR “Shut up” “Your mouth”
Sometimes they can even add, “Shut in”, “Shut out”, “Shut left” or “shut right”. But why stop there, we could have also added “Shut Highway” or “Shut Campus”. Oh… wait, it’s our ineffective education system that does that one.
5. “Cry cry baby, you want to see your mummy, shame”
Really? Shame? Really? First of all, what if I’m not crying because I want to see my mummy? Second, even if I’m crying to see my mummy, why is that shameful? Why is it shame if I want to see my mummy? I’m pretty sure this was started by all those wicked aunties in kindergarten that carry your food from your lunch box and eat it.
6. “What?” “Water and garri make eba that you’ll eat on your wedding day”
Seriously? Like, seriously? How did wedding day enter now?
7. “Why?” “Because Y has two branches and a long tail”
Oh, you don’t mean it! I didn’t know it! I would scream, “But whyyyy???” But I guess we already know the answer to that.