1. If you wake up early enough to catch the ewa-aganyin and bread woman, you are a go-getter and you know what you want in this life
2. If you recognise that Jollof rice is king and fried rice is his struggle step-brother, then your’re correct person
3. If you drive in Lagos and you don’t dash a minimum of five people and 3 danfo drivers waka daily, you’re a saint and you need to teach us your ways
4. If you’re a Yoruba boy and you haven’t broken any hearts, we know you’re lying, stop there!
5. If you ever think the amount of plantain is too much for your beans, we’re not very sure you can handle greatness oh!
6. Please, if you still use fork and knife to eat amala and ewedu, you’re living in the past, that bad behaviour stopped in 2016
7. If you’re still trying to decide whether to go to London or Paris for holiday in this recession, we know who you are, you’re our new best friend, please drop your number, let us send our account number to you
