1. When people meet you and instead of asking for your name, they just start calling you “Biggie”.
So you can’t even call me Dj Khaled?
2. When people jokingly compare you to Yokozuna and you laugh like you haven’t already heard that joke 2000 times.
3. When you buy food to eat and one busy body asks you if you’re sure it’ll be enough for you.
IS IT YOUR FOOD?!
4. When you catch up with friends you haven’t seen in a while and they scream about how much more weight you’ve gained.
When the truth is that you’ve been killing yourself in the gym.
5. When you’re about to sit in a chair and someone jokes about how it might break under your weight.
Saying things like this is why you won’t enter heaven.
6. When everybody thinks all your clothes are tailor made because they believe you don’t have your size in the market.
Some foolish people even go ahead and assume that tailors make your underwear too.
7. When someone offers you food but you’re not hungry so you decline and the person looks surprised.
These people think I just eat everything sha.
8. When people you don’t know start giving you health advice you did not ask them for.
This person giving you advice has never exercised a day in their life oh. They just think they’re healthy because they’re slim.
9. When you were a kid and adults would call you “fatty bumbum” because they thought it was cute.
10. When a bus conductor jokes about charging you for two seats.
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME??!!!
11. When someone you don’t even know like that asks you how much you weigh.
Who are you and why do you think you can ask me such personal questions?
12. When someone jokes about how much money they could make from selling you as meat.
At least I have body. You that looks sick. If you like don’t go and eat.
13. When the car you’re travelling in stops and all the snack vendors rush to your window because they assume you would want to eat everything.
But I didn’t call any of you na!