Tales of a Yoruba Demon: The Story of a Toasting Gone Wrong

My people, it is not easy being a confam baby boy.

You see, everything has to be on fleek. Hair; check. Clothes; check. Shoes; double check.

You’ve got to get all the girls tripping from a mile away.

When they see you coming, they have to feel your hawtness instantly.

So that before you even start to talk to them they’ll just be like:

But living that “always on fleek” life is not easy o.

Being a baby boy has its own wahala.

And sometimes, life will just come and mess up something for you.

Don’t believe? Just see my story:

That was how one day I was cruising around by my baby boy self. Doing some Yoruba demon prowling. You know. Regular stuff.

   

Then I spotted this fiiiiiiiine chick!!

I was like:

And as the on fleek baby boy that I am, I walked up to her and instantly laid down my moves.

     

I knew my shit was already working cause she was looking at me like:

So I decided to quickly seal the deal.

We went to one secluded garden place and sat on a bench.

It was dark and I did not check the place before sitting down. But I was like, whatevs. MISTAKE!!!

That was how, ten minutes into the talk I started feeling something moving inside my leg. But I shook it off.

Eez nothing eez nothing. But the moving did not stop.

Then suddenly, something chooked me inside my leg. I did not want to jump and scratch it so I just used guy.

That’s how I now used my phone light to check the bench and saw all the ants holding themselves on top of it:

I could not hold myself. I jumped from the bench and screamed. The babe was looking at me like this:

Bros. Hafa na?

I forgot I was outside. I removed my clothes so fast I could have won a world record.

When I finished checking that the ants were no longer in my clothes. I dressed up again and just left the place.

I didn’t bother to get the girl’s number. I didn’t need any reminders of that embarrassing moment.

All through that week I really sat down to think about this my baby boy life.

But no, I cannot stop. I’m a Baby Boy For Life!

Maybe I wouldn’t have had such a bad toasting experience though if I had read this next post on how to toast Naija boy style.