So a few months after my boyfriend broke up with me, I bumped into him at a restaurant!
He was with one hot babe, looking happy and satisfied!
Can you imagine?
Meanwhile I had been crying day and night.
As if somebody died!
Eating every and anything edible.
And generally behaving like the world had come to an end.
What is this world without love?
After seeing him looking so happy and satisfied I decided to change.
If he can move on, so can I!
So the first thing I decided to do was join a gym.
And become the hottest babe in Nigeria!
When I got there I saw so many men looking delicious.
I decided I must impress them by force, by fire.
So first I spent some time stretching.
Before muscle pull would come and finish me on one machine.
Right after that, I got on a treadmill.
To run from my problems.
After a leisurely 3 minute stroll, I decided to increase the speed and incline.
Because I’m the baddest babe.
After 2 minutes and 11 second, I was like:
Hayyy I have entered one chance.
After 2 minutes and 53 seconds I was like:
Somebody please help me.
By the time I got to 3 minutes and 5 seconds I knew I had to stop:
It’s all over oh!
People of God that is how I fell on the treadmill oh!
See shame oh!
All of a sudden I was surrounded by a few of the gym hunks, who had rushed over to see if I was okay.
Hmm could this be my silver lining?
One of them said “you should really take it easy if you haven’t done this before”.
Uncle is that what we are talking about now?
I even heard a few laughing.
Will this shame never end?
When I finally stood up, I saw my ex staring right at me!
HAYYYYYYYY!What is this one doing here?
Before I could collapse from shame all over again I hobbled out of that place.
Na wa oh!
I have never gone back to that gym.
So that they can point and laugh at me abi?
And I blame it on that my useless ex boyfriend.