So the month you’ve been looking forward to the whole year is finally here and you get to enjoy every minute of it. Eating, sleeping and partying with no excuses or the disturbance of an alarm because it’s the festive season.
But if you live in Lagos with no plans of going anywhere else for the holidays you know that your stress level will increase, and you’ve probably been wondering how to make the best of Christmas in the city before the countdown to December 2020 begins. Here are some tips of places to avoid if you don’t like stress:
Malls:
They are usually packed with lots of people whose ultimate goal is to make it a substitute for Dubai. These people have no intention whatsoever to visit any store or buy anything at all, it’s just a photo-op for them.
They move in packs and are sure to frustrate your life when you choose to go grocery shopping.
Open Markets:
Try to get all your shopping done in November, or maybe October, because navigating the streets and madness of Lagos markets at Christmas time can twist you into a pretzel and have you tearing your hair.
Avoid places like Balogun market, Yaba market, and the almighty Oshodi market, etc if you like yourself. Asides from prizes spiking up you’ll be sure to experience the frenzy and shoving of other Christmas shoppers.
Parks:
Oh gosh, thinking of the insects; people who don’t know what a trash can is for, people who walk on the grass instead of the pavement, the wailing kids, the loudspeakers blasting different songs and the crowd of people taking pictures at every turn like they are at Disney land is stressful enough.
Cinemas:
What with Hollywood and even Nollywood movies premiering in December, A LOT of people decide that taking their family– nuclear and extended– to the cinema for the holidays is the cutest thing ever.
So you might want to stock up on home videos and Netflix subscription if you want to avoid all the crazies, whom you’ll be sure to encounter at the cinemas.
Beaches:
For some reason, Lagosians think that going to the beach is the coolest thing to do during the holidays. So if you’re thinking of doing so yourself just know that about 15 million other Lagosians are too.
The beach is gonna be parked af. Think of the sweat, pee water (yuck) and inappropriate clothing that is an eyesore (how will someone wear agbada to the beach nitori olorun?)
Eateries:
Shucks, I’m pretty sure every 90s child in Nigeria experienced this at one time or the other especially when Mr. Biggs, Big Treat, and Mama Cass were the bomb.
It’s guaranteed that most people on a low budget are gonna be turning up at existing eateries trying to show themselves. Best advice? Leave them be.
Concerts:
Hehehe. I know, I know. Who doesn’t love a good concert? But not when you get sandwiched between two louts who didn’t bother to use deodorant or when standing gets tiring because the main artiste has kept everyone waiting for 3 HOURS (y’ all should learn from Cardi B though).
Let’s not forget trying to find the right parking space or praying that your 100th attempt at booking an Uber ride works because it seems like everyone decides to hail one at the very moment you choose to leave.
Lagos-Ibadan Expressway And Ojota:
Traveling out of Lagos after December 18 is probably the worst thing ever. News flash: everyone else is too! Most people will be scrambling to get out of the city so fast you’ll wonder why they even stay here in the first place.
Meanwhile, something worth an honorable mention is the numerous church camps and revivals that happen during the early part of December. You know the ones, those ones that have everyone moving out on Fridays, leading to a frustrating gridlock that will have you weeping and swearing if the heat and noise don’t kill you first.
