Dear friend,
In response to the recent okada 🏍 and Keke 🛺 bans, which has left millions of Lagosians with no last-mile public transportation, we have developed and are rolling out en masse a smart and not-so-smart phone 🤳🏾 solution to all your transport woes: iWAKA, a movement app that takes advantage of our original god-given tool of transportation — limbs aka legs 🦵🦵and feet 🦶🦶!
I’m delighted to introduce you to the latest innovation in transportation technology, coming out of Africa’s biggest mega city ?? , Lagos state.
This innovative technology is a big fat WAKA!🖐🏿 to the Lagos state administration who thought they could surprise us with the ban of okadas and kekes and leave us stranded without alternatives. Well guess what, Administration? THE JOKE IS ON YOU! We have legs and we have a badass app to help us use them for moving about. Keep your measly 65 buses! We got our own FEET 🦶 !
iWAKA is the most innovative and intuitive technology, enabling anyone of any age, gender, ethnic group, sexual orientation, political agenda, religion, socio economic class, occupation, nationality, race, disability, food and drink preference, habitat, hair color (all blondes are welcome!), hairstyle (dada is so in!), anyone at all; regardless of who you are iWAKA is for you 👊.
It’s so easy to get started!You download the app or send sms “iWAKA” to 55566. And voila, you instantly have access to your legs! Want to go to work? Use iWAKA! Buying groceries? Use iWAKA! Paying Sanwo-Olu a visit to protest the okada ban? Just iWAKA.
And that’s just the beginning!
Over the next couple of months we will be rolling out new features like feet-sharing, which allow people to trek to their various destinations together. We will also roll out iWAKA for business, for hawkers, and iWAKA for couples — for romantic walks 👨🏻🤝👨🏿 👩🏼🤝👨🏾this valentines 👩❤️💋👩 . Also look out for our sista app weWAKA, which lets you experience Lagos traffic while walking by congregating thousands to walk on the same road at the same time!
Satisfaction guaranteed. Lifetime money back warranty. iWAKA will take you everywhere you need to go! You may never be on time, but we guarantee you will get there eventually. Sweaty! Oh yeah! Smelling like Lagos fumes?! Who needs perfume? Yam legs? Thank us later! THE BENEFITS OF iWAKA ARE ENDLESS!
Download iWAKA today and start walking everywhere!
#WakaWaka
#WakaUPandDOWN
Yours feetfully,Johnny Waka
Chairman, President, CEO
UNCOMMON LEGS ASSOCIATION OF AFRICA
Lagos NIGERIA chapter
Founders of iWAKA Technologies and enterprises limited.
PS: Buy our exclusive online Merch today! Featuring fresh pair of feet in different colors: oyinbo, dudu, caramel and yellow pawpaw; it also comes in two models: kpaco and buta.
