Living in Lagos is an extreme sport. Every facet of the city is designed to frustrate the living hell out of you. To be honest, every Lagosian’s spirit has been broken, even if no one will admit it.
These are some of the times the city will remind you of your insignificance in the grand scheme of things.
1. Every time you don’t have change on Monday morning
Mondays are the ghetto. But if you live in Lagos and you rely on danfo to get you to work, many things can go wrong. It’s one thing to fight for space in the rickety buses in the heart of rush hour, it’s another thing to realise that you have only one thousand naira notes on you, especially with the conductor singing the “no change” song. You will figure it out, but it’s your weekly reminder that Lagos doesn’t rate you.
2. All the times you’re stuck in traffic
It’s just a wonder that nobody has gotten used to being stuck in traffic, considering the frequency with which they happen. You can sit through the terrible experience if you’re not in a rush, but you live in Lagos — you’re always in a rush.
3. When Uber and Bolt move mad and triple their fares
Ride-hailing services can make your life easier, at least, by Lagos standards. However, they can also be the assholes that remind you that you have no business living in Lagos. Their price surge hurts so much.
3. When you find a “decent” house but you can’t afford it
Housing in Lagos is a problem we don’t have enough conversation about. There are many moving parts to it. If you manage to find a house that ticks all your boxes, chances are that it is way above your budget.
4. When it rains for five minutes and everywhere floods
Even if the floods spare your house, there is a possibility that some parts of your route will be submerged. Living in Lagos will force you to be Jesus and walk on water.
5. Every time restaurants are thieving bastards
Nothing much to say here. Restaurants in Lagos will charge you for ambience and space; give you crappy food and hefty bills. E dey pain.
You should read this too: 8 Skills Everyone Needs To Survive Lagos Buses
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