Self-isolating with your partner is probably not how you imagined the third month of 2020 would pan out. But Coronavirus happened — is happening — and we have to do the right thing to stay safe and alive. As much as we love our partners, waking up to them, seeing them every second of the day, working with them from our homes is still remarkably different from anything we’re used to.
With this in mind, we decided to ask seven Nigerians about their experience self-isolating with their partner. From marathon sex to unnecessary arguments, here are the answers we got.
Lola, 28/Female/Recently Married:
So I’m married but the peculiar thing is my husband and I don’t stay together because of work. He comes home every Friday and goes on Monday. Enter the Ronnies and ghen ghen, everything changed. He’s been home since last week Thursday and one thing I know is a baby is going to come out of this thing even though baby wasn’t on my vision board this 2020.
Secondly, I don’t know why I never noticed he’s a three meal a day man. He doesn’t miss any. Luckily he’s self sufficient and gets his breakfast himself while I like to spend the early parts of my day working. But I’m worried about the food. What will happen when it finishes now. I shopped based on my style of 0 – 1 – 0.5 One weird thing for me is how he likes to write on surfaces. We have a home office yea, and we’ve got whiteboards he uses but Uncle has taken this thing further- his scribbles have taken over the entire surface of our work table. It’s like graffiti on it right now and I’ve been asked (begged) not to clean anything.
The best thing about self-isolating with my partner has been this: for us to have good deep sleep and not get restless because of paranoia (at the beginning, we both couldn’t sleep cos of fear), he gets us to watch old 90s movies late into the night, while getting drunk on scotch and then we proceed to do the thing which the lord has sanctified. Very vigorously I must add. Sleep is sure after but so is the baby thing. One thing I know is after this thing, it’s gonna be harder going back to status quo.
Micheal, 24/Male/In A Relationship – Nine Months
My summary of this experience in one sentence: she’s a little crackhead, I want to throw her away but I can’t because I love her. Let me explain. On night one, we had a fight. She was sleeping and I was working. She then woke up and said I was disturbing her; I left the room for her – I went to the parlour to continue what I was doing. After a while, she came to the parlour and asked why I left her alone, that I wasn’t playing with her — I mean, isn’t it only crackheads that stay stuff like this. So I said, ma, you were asleep. It was only the next day that she realised she was about to come on her period and that was why she was fighting me. Now I’m treating my partner like a baby. A big baby that would just randomly start dancing in front of my computer to distract me.
I admit that I have my own. Self-isolating with your partner teaches you about yourself and your partner. Like me now, I know I don’t have sense like that, but I didn’t know it was bad like that. Sometimes, I’d just randomly spank her when she’s working. It’s not my fault that she’s been dressed like a plumber since our self-isolation began. In all, it’s actually not a new experience. We’ve lived together for stretches at a time and I know there’s nothing I can’t handle. But sha, if you know someone buying crackheads, tell me because I’ll soon put this one up for sale.
Ada, 24/Female/In A Relationship
For me, self-isolating with my partner has been great. We have successfully divided the tasks in the house so both of us know who is doing what and when. She talks to herself while she’s working — I do it too, but I only just realised that that’s how she works. She also checks on me to make sure I’m not overwhelmed with work.
We haven’t had sex yet. I’m horny but she has a lot of work so I’m respecting that. Arguments are same as usual. We play a lot more, teasing each other, making impressions of our cat.
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Tope, 22/Female/In A Relationship
After my company granted remote work, I immediately moved in with my partner. We had talked about it prior and we agreed we’d self-isolate together. During the first five days, body was catching us and we did it every chance we got. Things slowed down and became boring from day six and we’ve had three serious arguments for the first time in our relationship since then. I also noticed a few interesting and annoying things about him and he did too. We used to spend weekends together before but they didn’t seem like enough time for us to notice the things we’ve noticed during this isolation.
This entire thing has also given me a glance at what marriage could be like. Since we stopped having sex after doing it like rabbits consecutively for 5 days, he has been asking for it but I’m so drained. This also has given me a glance at why men say they cheat because their wives aren’t giving it to them. It’s all a lot but I’m happy I get to experience all of this with him. I’m certain our relationship will come out of isolation better than it went in. Self-isolating with your partner is a huge test for couples who don’t usually live together.
Tunde, 29/Male/Engaged
We started self-isolating a week ago. It’s also our first time living together. We’ve had our engagement, but haven’t gone to registry. She had to fight her parents to come and stay with me — I mean, we’re technically married, so it’s only right. I was gingered about self-isolating because I had read a foreign article about self-isolating with partners helps the couple.
We weren’t really having sex before now. So I imagine my shock when self-isolation started and I found out that I’m getting married to a sex machine. We start our morning with sex and end our day with sex. I think that’s the only routine we have been able to pull off so far. One time, I started working earlier than usual. She was still sleeping, so I assumed we won’t be having sex on that morning. Lo and behold, aunty came to the parlour and we did it. It was the same thing during the weekend when I got up early to make breakfast. We have the same energy sexually and that’s super good to know. Should I say thank you corona?
Daniella, 25/Female/In A Relationship
Since I started self-isolating with my partner, nothing shocking has happened, fortunately. But who knew he watched so much stuff? He must have watched at least 3 series & all their seasons by now. Also, I do not think he has had to listen to more finance speak in forever. I don’t think he realized how much finance finance stuff I did. Sweetest thing has gotta be yummy breakfast which is totally new.
Mohammed, 36/Male/Married For Almost Six Years
We’ve been married for a while, but apart from vacations, I don’t think we’ve spent a stretch of time together like this before. Self-isolation is good because she can rest and I can help out in ways that I couldn’t be for. I’ve tried things like cooking for the children and getting them ready in the morning while my wife sleeps in.
It’s just the children that are stressing me, if not, I actually like this arrangement. Some of my colleagues are complaining about self-isolating with their partners and I laugh at them. I don’t know what the coming days hold, but I’m optimistic that things will go on like this.
