Somethings never change in African homes. For example, the strict list of taboos that never gets revised with topics like sex, atheism and cohabitation occupying space on them. Decades later and sex is still a word you cannot say with your chest when your Nigerian parents are within a one mile radius no matter what you scored on our How Good Are You In Bed Quiz. Inside life.
Since the subject itself is a taboo that chances of you getting an actual sex education from your parents are zero to zero. But if you did get one, they most likely sounded like something from this list;
1. Exaggerated lies.
Example: If a man touches, you you will get pregnant. I don’t know why we ever believed this as kids because it makes so little sense. After struggling to get a C in biology and attending the reproduction class we go back home to believe that pregnancy happens by touch.
2. Take you for deliverance when they see you being inappropriate.
If they catch you masturbating or playing nonsense play with the opposite sex you earn a ticket to a vigorous deliverance session with the family pastor. And some counselling afterwards.
3. Beat the shit out of you when they see you talking to the opposite sex.
Because Nigerian parents are not in the business of sparing the rod. Matter of fact according to the Nigerian parenting guide, the rod is one of the most recommended and potent parenting tool and they never fail to whip it out to share some nuggets.
4. Give you a very very awkward speech basically preaching abstinence.
Complete with sufficient and explicit Bible verses promising the wrath of God and a permanent bed space in hellfire for anyone who fails to comply.
5. Nothing.
Yeap, most of them don’t even bother. They figure you can’t do what you don’t know so why bother giving you ammunition for a war they never think you will fight?
What kind of sex education did you get from your Nigerian parents?
