NYSC PPA Posting
It’s every youth corps member’s nightmare.
You get your posting letter after three weeks of camp activities and your heart sinks into your stomach (which then proceeds to drop into your ass) because you’ve been posted to a village so remote it could pass for Jaguar Paw’s village in the movie, ‘Apocalypto’.
If you never want to experience the terrible feeling just described, keep reading.
1) Suck up to your platoon leader:
It’s like the saying goes: Serve at the king’s side so when the beheadings begin, you’ll be last in line.
This is a real saying. Don’t @ me.
2) Be a platoon leader:
And order the beheadings your damn self.
3) Join the parade:
Sure, you’ll spend an insane number of hours stomping the yard like Columbus Short. But it’ll be worth it when you’re lounging at your PPA with electricity and running water.
4) Join the Orientation Broadcasting Service (OBS):
Join the broadcasting service and get to do cool stuff like practising your white people accent for when you eventually japa, escaping stressful camp activities, and picking the soundtrack for the daily chaos that occurs when soldiers chase people for morning prayers.
5) Join the camp’s medical team:
This only works if your studied medicine, anatomy, physiology, etc. So don’t think they’ll let you join if you studied accounting but learned CPR from a movie.
6) Join the band:
So you can walk around camp serving “Drumline” line.
7) Join the kitchen volunteers:
And serve your fellow corps members the colourless and odourless gruel.
8) Win Mr. Macho or Madam Macho:
If you win this, just start preparing to move into your lavish PPA with the DVD & stereo set they give all the winners.
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NYSC PPA Posting
