Valentine is coming again and, as usual, Nigerian women a particular set of people are getting ready to furnish their men with the usual gifts we see every year. I’ve decided to save you the trouble and make a list of things Nigerian men don’t want to receive this year. If you really want to be a useful member of your relationship, you can find a list of things to buy your man for valentine’s here.

1. Sex

For the 5482nd time, sex is NOT a gift. Nobody ever thinks “You know what I’d really want for Valentine’s Day? Sex.” Nobody. Ever. Is it not the same sex that you’re having every other day?

2. Singlet and boxers

Did he tell you he doesn’t have underwear? Did he tell you he is suffering?

3. Handkerchief

Unless your man is a professional traditional dancer, I don’t see why you should be buying him handkerchief.

pancocojams: Nigerian Culture: Igbo Women Dancing With White Handkerchiefs

4. Pen

We know they said that the pen is mightier than the sword but it doesn’t mean it makes a great gift. Put in more effort abeg.

5. BYC T-shirt/Chase Deer

Resist the urge to be unfortunate, please.

6. “3000 Reasons Why I Love You”

Okay but na love we go chop? Who are you giving homework to go and be reading?

7. Face on Pillow/Mug

If he wants to know what he looks like, he has mirror at home.

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