Nigerian parents will not respect you unless you give them a reason to. Follow everything we said here and claim your respect now.

1. Get pregnant.

Once they see you are pregnant, the respect will definitely come, by force by fire. Their child is now eating the human banana. Time to let her go out into the world. She don carry belle.

2. Impregnate someone.

Same as above. You will now be seen as a mature man whose human banana has copulated with someone’s hairy snail. Time to set you free.

3. Stop eating at home.

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If you no longer eat their food, what cause will they have to disrespect you?

4. Leave home and don’t call them.

That’s what? INDEPENDENCE!

5. When they hang up on you in anger, don’t call back.

They’ll definitely call you back. And that’s a sign that you have won.

6. If they attack you about your WhatsApp profile picture, leave that picture there.

Last last, they will scream and leave you alone. And then what next? NOTHING.

7. Leave home for them.

Is it not when you are at home that they can disrespect you?

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