We are so grateful that Shiloh happens every year. A prayer gathering where miracles happen and multiple breakthroughs are recorded? SIGN US UP! But given the state of the country, we have started wondering about this one thing: instead of taking your partner’s picture to Shiloh, why not take these 10 things with you?
1. Nigeria.
If there’s one thing that needs God’s divine touch, it is Nigeria. When Nigeria receives the divine touch, even the population of single people will reduce.
2. Your account number.
Don’t you want to receive miracle alerts? Omo, the next Shiloh that happens, you better go there with your account details. Before that service ends, credit alert will be chasing you.
3. Your CGPA.
If God can raise Lazarus from the dead, what is your CGPA that God cannot pour divine yeast into? Believe and you shall receive.
4. Picture of your project supervisor.
Final year students, don’t sleep on this! If your project supervisor is moving like your village people, just take the battle to the spiritual realm. By the time you leave Shiloh, your project supervisor will be the one begging you to collect A as your final score.
5. Picture of your line manager.
Is your boss a pain in the ass? Just take a sick leave and go to Shiloh and raise their picture high to heaven. If that manager refuses to get in line, my saviour will manage them quickly!
6. A picture of the latest iPhone.
This one requires faith. Just carry the picture with you. And if you can get the carton, carry it too and pray. Before the week ends, you’ll either find a brand new iPhone on the floor or the prices will fall to 2k. Impossibility? It’s not for my father.
7. A picture of your dream body.
Why go to the gym when you can go to Shiloh? Flat stomach? Six pack? Bumbum like pillows? Work it out in prayers!
8. Your edges.
If there is one thing God can do, it is to reshape all damaged edges? Does yours fall into this category? Just take it to my father.
9. Your international passport.
My father is still in the business of taking people from grass to grace. So, carry your green passport and declare. Japa is greater than finding true love.
10. Yourself.
Just pray for Otedola or Dangote to adopt you. There’s no greater encounter than that, believe me.
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