In today’s world, more and more men are breaking the stereotype that the kitchen is a place for women. I talked with five Nigerian men who didn’t always know how to, but had to learn to cook in their adulthood, and now prepare meals regularly.
“Cooking helped me cope with depression and loneliness”
— Femi, 23
As a child, my parents were always dragging me for not joining my mum in the kitchen. He would say, “Na so you go dey buy food when you go university because you no sabi cook.”
I’ve always been a staunch believer in online learning, so I was pretty sure I could get away with not learning to cook until I was ready. I’d done it with writing and school work anyway; was it ordinary food that would stop me?
When we became teenagers, my parents started making my brother and me cook. My mum stopped cooking regularly because of her work, so it was either we cooked or starve. And then, she expected to eat when she came back from work too, so talk about learning on the go.
I found a way around it by inviting a friend whose mom ran a foodshed, for a game of table tennis. As we played, I’d quiz him from time to time about cooking to see if he was any good. He didn’t know I was just extracting information, hehe.
I learnt to cook beans but struggled with jollof rice. Stews and soups were a no-go, and my mom would rather not eat poison, so she made those herself when she could.
In university, I started cooking more but for an unlikely reason: cooking helped me cope with depression and loneliness. I spent time watching cooking videos online and practicing. I learnt a lot and quickly started creating my own recipes, even though I was broke then and there was only so much I could do with the little money I had.
I’ve improved a lot with my cooking and now that I can afford it, I’ve set up my kitchen in a way that helps me try new foods, create new recipes, and experiment more.
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“I used food to bond with my wife”
— Efe, 41
Omo, I had to start learning to cook because of my fitness goals. Eating out isn’t sustainable because most fast-food restaurants cook unhealthy stuff. A few years ago, before I met my wife, I needed to lose belly fat and the only way was to control the food that enters my mouth. So I had a dietician (who doubled as my fitness trainer) draw up a food plan. Most of those foods would have to be homemade.
Initially, I hired someone to do my cooking but somehow I occasionally ran out of meals. I had to at least learn how to cook basic stuff myself just in case. Over time, I started to get really interested in food. I found that I enjoyed food more when I made it. I also started to experiment with cooking styles.
It’s funny because food helped me bond with the woman who is now my wife in the early stages of our relationship. Now I’m married and I cook with my wife on weekends. A massive W.
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“I went viral for cooking the River of Babylon”
— Emmanuel, 20
I grew up in a household with a lot of women so I barely did any chores.
Fast-forward to when I started university and had to fend for myself: the first time I made jollof rice, I mixed the rice with the sauce without first draining the starch from the rice. After the rice water dried, it was like I’d added super glue to the rice.
Later, I tried to cook beans and didn’t throw away the beans water. I poured palm oil on the beans, added chopped onions and seasoning. After eating, I unleashed fart bombs on my roommates for the next three days.
Then there was that time I made “stew” that went viral on campus. I’d visited a friend who needed to step out for a bit. He told me he had a little stew in his fridge and I could boil rice to eat with it. The stew was very little so I offered to increase the quantity of the stew. I would just add a little water and some spices and it’d be okay, right?
After he left, I turned on the gas cylinder, placed a pot on the cooker, poured palm oil in it, added chopped onions, pepper and water. I also added the small bowl of stew in it and brought it to a boil. I expected the broth to thicken after a while, but it never did. I added more seasoning and spices in desperation like it would change a thing. But, no, the river of Babylon was staring at me.
Just then, my friend came back with some other hungry friends. He went straight to the pot of stew, opened it and burst into laughter. Then he pulled out his phone and started filming.
The video ended up in my faculty’s WhatsApp group chat and went viral within hours. I couldn’t go into campus the next few days.
That was it. I had to learn how to cook.
I started by asking friends and coursemates who knew how to cook for help. I wrote down recipes and step-by-step instructions. After two years and lots of handholding from friends, I can now make a decent meal.
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“Restaurants in this Lagos cook rubbish”
— Nduka, 28
Omo, it’s sapa o. It’s not that deep for me. I had to learn to cook because eating out every time is so expensive. And most restaurants in this Lagos dey cook rubbish. The evening I spent ₦4k on pasta that tasted like rubber bands, I decided I was going to learn how to cook pasta myself. I headed to Shoprite and bought groceries. When I got back, I video called my girlfriend to walk me through the process of cooking stir-fry spaghetti. It didn’t turn out great but at least it was a start.
I’ve gotten better at cooking but I still don’t like it. It’s just a necessary evil at this point in my life. The day I can afford to hire someone to take care of my meals 24/7, I’ll not waste time.
“It’s either really good or really bad”
— Samuel, 28
As a child, I always spent time in the kitchen with my mother and sister where I helped out. I even cooked a meal or two occasionally and found it fun.
But after moving out, it was different. I had to relearn how to cook as it’s no longer an option but a necessity. I no longer liked cooking because it took so much time and effort, and I had to do it every time.
These days, sometimes, I watch a Nollywood movie on Netflix and I see food that looks good. I know I can cook it but I don’t know how to. So I just look the meal up on YouTube, get as many ingredients as I can and attempt to recreate. The Maggi or the salt may be too much sometimes, I but I’ll sha eat it like that.
I learnt most of my cooking from YouTube and even with that, it’s still 50-50: it’s either really good or really bad. But how man go do?
