Why do we talk about Nigerian aunties often but rarely about Nigerian uncles? These men have been pushed to the sidelines, and I won’t stand for it. If you have a cool Nigerian uncle, show them love today because the truth is, they’re the best. And I’m here to prove my point with the following reasons:
Nigerian uncles support your “bad” decisions
Are you looking for an ally in the family after piercing your nose? Your best bet is a Nigerian uncle. These men know what’s up, and they’ll be around to defend your actions. You’re not the first to do this thing and you definitely won’t be the last.
Nigerian uncles know how to mind their business
How many times does your uncle ask questions about your weight or when you’ll marry? Not saying they don’t do it, but unlike Nigerian aunties who know how to insert themselves into any and every drama, Nigerian uncles are at least 50% less stressful than Nigerian aunties.
The most they will do is yab you for being a failure in life, and in Nigeria, yabbing is a love language.
Just like Grandmas, Nigerian uncles have the power to embarrass your parents
Nigerian parents like to act like they landed from heaven as saints and have never made mistakes in their life. It’s always giving lies and deceit. Nigerian uncles are goats because they’re always around to humble and embarrass your parents. They have tea from your parents’ hoe phases, the time your father jumped a fence and the time your mother went to the club with her boyfriend from SS2.
Free money
Who doesn’t like free money? Granted, you may have to laugh at a few dry jokes. But best believe the recharge card money will be worth it in the end.
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Nigerian uncles always know somebody that knows somebody that can solve your problems
No one has more connections — or at least pretends to have more connections — than a typical Nigerian uncle. Is it admission you want or a Tokunbo car? Before you say pim, they’ve asked for your CV or your JAMB/WAEC results. Their connections don’t always pan out and you may sit at home for two years after secondary school, but it’s the thought that counts.
They’re always on hand to gas you up on the smallest achievement
Unlike your parents who’ve used see-finish eye to wash you up and down, Nigerian uncles are easily impressed by small achievements. You don’t have to come first in school or work at a tech or Big Four company all you have to do is stay alive, show politeness and be able to greet them in your native language. They’ll love the shit out of you.
Nigerian uncles have the best taste in 1990s/2000s music
We can all agree that the 1990s and the early 2000s had the best music, right? Now that we have that out of the way, can we get into how Nigerian uncles know all the popping tracks and deep cuts from back in the day? They’re like you, but older and with rappers that don’t mumble.
Steal a Nigerian uncle’s playlist (if they know how to make one) and upgrade your music taste today.
Nigerian uncles always have our backs when we’re fighting with our parents
Unlike Nigerian aunties who like to join their mouths and support your parents in fights, our uncles are usually on our side. They’re available to remind our parents that times have changed. Yes, Uncle Deji, tell them o!
ALSO READ: 9 Types of Nigerian Uncles
