You can’t be a Nigerian and have only six senses; you’ll see shege. Here are some superhuman instincts we’ve all had to develop by force.
Detecting an ATM that’ll swallow your card
Inserting your card in any random ATM is an extreme sport because it may very well be the last time you’ll see it. So knowing when an ATM is about to act funny is an instinct you must develop as a Nigerian.
Anticipating mad people while driving
You’re most likely mad, so while driving on Nigerian roads, it’s only natural to expect that you’re with fellow mad people. You’re just one gbas-gbos away from cussing out someone’s mother on a good Friday morning.
Spotting sweet cherry
Haters will say there’s no such thing as sweet cherry. But hardcore Nigerians know they lie. There’s a way the cherry will look at you and you’ll know it can’t wait to be enjoyed.
Safeguarding your phone in public
You’ll be walking down the streets of Idumota market looking normal, but deep down, you’re holding on to your phone like your life depends on it.
And your privates
For men, stolen penises are a big worry, especially in public places. To protect your privates from being stolen in broad daylight, you learn to walk a certain way, so you can always sense its presence in the right place.
Knowing who you can and cannot change it for
In Nigeria, having sense is everything. That’s why the question, “Do you know who I am?” is important. It may be all that stands between you and the beating of a lifetime.
Calculating electricity
If you’ve been in Nigeria long enough, you’ll know too much electricity is a bad omen. Imagine having electricity for 16 hours a day on a regular basis. You have to start calculating what to do with it because you know, once it goes off, you won’t see it again for a while.
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