People showcasing different levels of bad behaviour in a house for months is good, but finding out what happens in Aso Rock after someone carts the National Assembly mace away is much better.
Nigeria is a special place with special characters, which is why the powers that be should come together to give us the following reality shows.
The mortuary: after hours
It might be spooky, but who doesn’t want to see what happens in a mortuary when the sun goes down. Do the bodies move when they think no one’s there? Do their spirits bump into things? How often do the attendants get spooked out by random sounds?
Salon tea
It’s a longstanding fact that the hair salon is the place to be if you want to hear every Nigerian’s gist. Instablog, who? Someone needs to get a camera into one of these Lekki/Ikoyi salons and serve us bottomless tea.
Inside the minds of Aba boys
Do you realise the amount of research and dedication that goes into changing Gucci to Nguccy or replicating someone else’s design? Some even create a whole new design the brand doesn’t even know about. Please, we just want a peek into how they work, and why they do the things they do.
The Aso villa: behind the scenes
First off, this should be our right as Nigerian citizens. We don’t even need to know the ins and outs of Aso rock, we just need to know what’s happening in it. Who’s fighting who? What happens when they tell us ridiculous things about snakes and monkeys? You know, the basics.
The secret life of pastor’s partners
Think real housewives, but in a way that pleases the Lord. Midi dresses, fascinators, wide-brim hats, a bible in one hand and the uncanny ability to judge you out of sin in another. We don’t know how or when we’ll get this, but we absolutely need it.
Market women inner drama
Have you ever gone to your customer’s market stall, and you can just feel the tension brewing between them and their neighbour? We need this show to sate the aproko in us. Also, a market woman doing confessionals would be hilarious AF.
Bus drivers and their conductors vs the world
This would be a wholesome show filled with romance, drama, and nonstop action. We just need someone who’s willing to follow them around with a camera — and maybe, a helmet for protection against bottles, 2-by-2 planks, and the slim possibility of being thrown off a bus.