On July 1, 2023, Portable posted a screenshot of Asake’s reply to his DM asking for a collab. It didn’t seem like Asake was keen on working with him at that moment.

fake friends
asake and portable screenshot
Source: Portable’s IG Story

Source: Portable’s IG Story

His response reminded me of how guys back their guys up and encourage them when they’re down. From your close friends and “guyest guys”, these words give extra confidence. From acquaintances, however, they can just be fake assurances. 

See these, for example:

We gather dey

sabinus
fake friends
Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: My brother in Christ, this means you’re on your own and should focus on yourself.

We go run am

why are you running 
fake friends
Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: Get your shoes, tie your laces and get ready to run alone. Because na only you go still run that thing, boss.

Na smalls

fake friends
Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: Go for it. I’ll be rooting for you from where I am without moving an inch.

Bad as e bad

Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: It can actually get worse, and I won’t be there to help you out. I have my own cross to carry.

I dey your back

fake friends
Source: Zikoko memes

Translation: I’m sorry to break it to you, but you and your back are on your own.

No reason am

Source: Zikoko memes

This is just a sorry attempt to make you feel calm and forget your predicament. When you stop thinking about it, they no longer need to help you find a solution.

No wam

fake friends
Source: Zikoko memes

No problem?  Just know that there’s a problem. They just will be wishing you well from afar.

Mafo

fake friends
Source: Zikoko memes

Although this loosely translates to “fear not”, they’re just ticking boxes when they say. Sometimes, these guys actually mean it, but how can we know? We aren’t all-knowing. We’re nothing but pencils in the hands of President Tinubu’s policies.

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