If you’re like us, you’ve forgotten how to function in a 9-to-5 office since your return from the holidays. So here’s a “gentle” reminder that there’s more to office language than meets the ears. To survive the average work environment, you must understand beyond-the-surface meanings of the most common statements that slip off your co-workers’ lips or keyboard.
That’s where we come in with the only guide you need to succeed.
“I trust this meets you well”
They greet you politely with this to soften the blow for what comes next. It’s just like how mosquitoes sing in your ears before sucking your blood, so stay guarded.
“Circle back”
You’ve been asked something ages ago, but not a word from you. Now, they’re back to check if you’re dead or want to be fired.
“For your information”
This translates to “I don’t expect a response, but don’t say I didn’t tell you.” It’s a smooth denial disclaimer.
“Prioritise”
In a 9-5 setup, this word means drop everything in the world to focus on the singular task your oga has assigned to you.
“Gentle reminder”
They’ve shouted on top of your head three times already. This gentle nudge is because they’ve noted that you’re sleeping on your job. You better wake up before it turns into a final reminder.
“Per your request”
This is to passively say they’ve done exactly what you asked for without additions. They’re not magicians; they just bang on their keyboard buttons.
“Per my last email”
You get this when the sender of the email can’t believe they have to repeat themselves. It’s a mix of frustration and “wetin dey do this guy?”
“Attached for the record”
It means, “You may not check this on time, but when wahala bursts, you’ll wish you had.”
“As we approach the end of year…”
Remember the backlog of work that made you greatful for the holiday in the first place? Well, it’ll be back at the end of this year. Get ready for urgent chaos, i.e., tasks that’ll bombard you before the company closes.
It’s all an endless loop.
