The thing about games is that they’re supposed to be entertaining. But somewhere along the line, games became hard. Some became hard because they started reflecting reality too much, and others became hard because people like pain and suffering. These are five games that people keep claiming are fun but aren’t like at all.
1) Chess
All my life, many people have tried to explain the rules of chess to me, and each time, I have been physically unable to listen. Why can some players move about at will, and others can only shuffle sideways like crabs? Why is the queen so cunty? I love my games involving mindless fun, and chess is the opposite of that.
2) Monopoly
The housing market is the worst it has ever been. Word on the street is that many people in this generation will never own a house of their own and will rent until the Grim Reaper cometh for them. Now, why would you want to play an endless game that reminds you of the real-life rent that is kicking your ass and property you’ll never be able to own? Is it fun when you have to mortgage all your properties to pay half of what you owe to the billionaire player who owns everything else?
3) Scrabble
Let me tell you something. If I wanted to spell things, I’d go compete in a spelling bee or just watch Lawrence Fishburne bully a 12-year-old Keke Palmer into learning how to spell “pulchritude”. Don’t stress me out, please.
4) Jenga
Pulling out blocks from an already unstable structure? Jenga is insanely nerve-wracking. Jenga is the shape I imagine my anxiety would take if it could leave my body and fashion a physical form for itself. Weirdly enough, the gameplay is also an accurate representation of my mental health. But that’s another story for another day.
