Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Shola: We met on Twitter in March 2023. She posted about food and how she wanted to cook for her future husband. Me being a foodie, I commented under the tweet. She was really expressive after that and kept replying to my tweets, so I slid into her DM. She almost curved me but eventually gave me her number.
Damilola: The first time we spoke over the phone, we ended up talking all night. And that’s not my normal behaviour.
Is that how you realised you liked each other?
Shola: She recommended a Pastor Adeboye movie for me to watch that night. I’m usually so busy, so I don’t get to watch TV a lot. But the next day, I made sure I watched it so I could tell her I did and this is exactly what happened in it.
At that point, I knew I liked her and wanted her close, closer than a friend.
Damilola: Yeah, we bonded over Mount Zion movies and had a long “getting to know each other” period.
But how I really knew I liked him was when we were done talking over the phone one night, and I said, “Bye”. His response was, “Don’t ever tell me bye, only goodnight.” We paused for several seconds, and I remember smiling and thinking, “This guy is so sweet.”
When did you guys finally meet?
Damilola: Our first meeting was our first date in 2023. We attended a Beautiful Nubia concert. I’m a huge fan of their music, so you can imagine how much I was looking forward to the date. He suggested it and bought tickets because I’d mentioned how much I liked them.
How did it go?
Shola: We met at a restaurant to talk before the show started at 5 p.m. We’d been communicating for about a month before the date, and the vibe matched when we met, which was great.
Damilola: After eating, we laughed and talked so much that we lost track of time and booked a ride to take us to the venue at the very last minute.
In the car, we took pictures together and the conversation was flowing effortlessly when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. He asked if I wanted to go home. I said no. We were almost at the event, and I didn’t want to ruin things.
Don’t tell me things got ruined anyway
Damilola: We got to the venue early at almost 5:30 p.m. Beautiful Nubia’s band was playing with barely 50 people present, so we got spots in the front row. Shortly after we sat down, I felt a sharper pain in my stomach and we had to step out of the venue. I began to feel dizzy and realised I couldn’t walk properly. The pain became so intense that my legs were shaking.
Shola: At this point, I was scared.
Damilola: I sat on a concrete slab already crying silently when I felt the urge to use the restroom. We were surrounded by parked cars and barricades, and I couldn’t stand up without messing up my clothes.
An agbero approached us to ask what was happening. Shola explained the situation, and I begged them to let me relieve myself right there. I couldn’t take it. I was reacting to the food we’d just eaten. I barely eat out because my stomach reacts to the most random things.
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So you had to poop in public on your first date?
Damilola: Not exactly. Shola said he wouldn’t let that happen.
Shola: Another man came to ask what’s up and offered to let her use the restroom in his house, a five-minute walk away.
Damilola: As we walked to the man’s house, I felt something leave my body and collapsed on the floor.
Ahhh. I’m so sorry
Damilola: Shola was almost in tears, and I felt really bad for him. I was so embarrassed.
He carried me on his back as we rushed to the man’s house. I used his toilet the first time but didn’t feel better. While we were booking a ride to go to the nearest pharmacy, I felt the stomach pain again. I was so scared it would drop right there that I begged Shola to let me use the drainage in front of the man’s house. I was that desperate.
Shola: Thankfully, the man let her use his toilet again instead.
How did you guys get through such a first date?
Damilola: I was weak and tired, but we went to a pharmacy and then returned to the event.
He asked me a billion times if I was sure we should go back. When we got there and the place was already full, he immediately grabbed two plastic chairs stacked at the back and cleaned them for us. I felt bad for traumatising him, but he was super caring throughout. And we had an amazing time.
Shola: I realised that God just wanted to test how much I’d love her, how ready we were to be together. Because right after that, we both knew this was it. We’re getting married to each other.
Damilola: There’s been no doubt since that day that the relationship would work. And thank God, so far we’ve not been wrong.
What happened after this date?
Damilola: I told my sister and friends what happened, and they didn’t believe me. When the Twitter thread I posted about it went viral, I’d send the funny comments to him, and we’d all laugh.
We continued talking, and he’s remained caring throughout. One time when I was sick, I told him I hadn’t eaten. He came all the way to my house when I was still staying at Magboro, brought me amala and some fruits. I remember eating the apple and telling him it tasted somehow.
Shola: We kept going out together and getting deeper into each other’s lives. I met her roommate, Aduke, that same week, and we started meeting all our friends shortly after. Before I knew it, they were all calling me “Shollylupitini”, her nickname for me.
When did things become official?
Damilola: Three days after the date, I invited him to my house and it just happened in the middle of a conversation. He stopped and looked at me. I asked why he was staring, and he said, ”Will you be my girlfriend with marriage in view?” I was shocked and said yes immediately.
My flatmate, Aduke, had made fried rice and turkey for his visit, so we just sat and ate, and they bonded over the fact that they both graduated from OAU.
Shola: That night, she gave some of her friends my number, and they called to congratulate me.
Damilola: Three months after the date, he asked to come see my parents. I was like, “What for?” It felt too serious to me at the time, but I told my dad and we invited him over. He came with some of his friends, and we all had a meal with my parents at home.
After that meeting, my dad was so happy. He kept saying, “I like that boy. He’s so cool and calm.” The next thing, he was asking me to come meet his mum in Berger.
Ouuu
Damilola: I was like, “Why?” I was so scared.
Shola: I just wanted everyone who was important to me to know her. I was so excited about her, and I still am. My mum knew about her and was eager to meet her too.
Damilola: We went to see her together, and she cooked for us. I remember thinking the food was so delicious. It was semo and efo-riro. I even asked if I could have more to take home, and she willingly packed me a big bowl. She was so nice to me.
Before Shola even proposed, I’d call every so often to check up on her. I could just show up at her house, and she’d be so happy to see me.
Speaking of the proposal, how did that go?
Shola: Like I said, from that first date, I knew she was the one. Every time we remember what happened, we’re able to laugh and make jokes about it. We promised we’d tell our kids the funny story of how we met.
As the months passed, my feelings for her didn’t fade at all. I just had to decide at some point that I wanted to take a bold step.
Damilola: I actually saw the ring weeks before the proposal; he doesn’t know this. I knew he’d propose, but I just didn’t know when.
How did you find the ring, Damilola?
Damilola: I was at his place one day. This was towards the end of September 2023. I entered his room, and he just said, “Don’t go near that bag.” I was like, “Ehn? What could be in there?” So once he left the room, I went straight to the bag and saw the ring. I even tried it on and took a picture. But I later deleted it.
Shola: Wow. Wow. Wow.
Damilola: The day he finally proposed, on October 7th, he got my most stubborn friend, Bimpe, to bully me to get my nails and hair done and dress up to go eat at a restaurant with her. At first, I was like, “Don’t disturb me jo.” I was at a low point in my life, so I was ready to just throw on a random dress and some slippers. But she can be very assertive.
Shola: That’s why I got her to do it.
Damilola: I did my best and got there. I was even texting to check in on him because he had an important meeting. She kept moving me in different angles to take pictures at the restaurant and ordered food even though I said I wasn’t hungry.
That’s how the food came and the waiter opened it and I saw a chocolate writing that said, “Will you marry me?” I just froze. I turned around and saw him on both knees. Omo, tears straight. He read out a poem he wrote and brought out the ring.
Shola: Do you know what she said to me? “Ko si bi tama tiesi” (I don’t have anywhere else to push you to). We had our civil wedding last week; our main wedding is in June.
That sounds beautiful. Was there ever a time you felt unsure about the relationship, though?
Damilola: I had a dark moment last August when my job was affecting me psychologically and I was determined to resign. No one understood. My dad called to beg me not to leave. Shola kept reminding me that there were no jobs out there.
Shola: I didn’t want her to have to struggle with unemployment. But I wasn’t really listening to how she felt.
Damilola: I listened to them for about two months then I quit without telling anyone. It was after I submitted my letter that I called to tell him I’d done it.
Shola: I felt bad that she kept it from me, but I supported her decision.
What happened after?
Shola: She was so irritable during that period. It was obvious that any mention of a job or money annoyed her so I avoided that. But I saw how hard she worked to make some money off her writing side gigs and also apply for better jobs.
Two months later, she had a new job that was a lot better than the last in terms of everything.
Damilola: When I got the new one, everyone started saying, “Thank God you didn’t stay back at that other place.” Funny enough, Shola proposed just a week before they called me to start this new job.
Neat. Have you guys ever had a major fight?
Shola: Before we started dating, she really proved hard to get as women do. But I stayed persistent, calling and checking up on her, expressing my intentions. That caused friction at many points.
I won’t say we’ve ever had a major one. Even in arguments, we made a promise to always settle on the same day. Even if one person is asleep, we wake them up to settle any issues.
Damilola: Before we met at the concert, there was a night I complained to him about my former workplace. I told him about an incident with a patient, and he said, “Customers are always right.” I got so angry. I was like, “I don’t think I like you. I’ll never like you when you say stuff like this.”
That’s actually what led to that story I mentioned earlier when I said, “Bye” and he called me back to say, “Don’t ever tell me bye.” That was a memorable argument that ended pretty well. We never go to bed upset with each other, so I can’t even remember a particular situation that I’d call a minor or major fight between us.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your Love Life?
Damilola: 10 over 10 minus nothing. We’re best friends, and I love the way he carries my matter on his head.
Shola: I won’t say 10. I’ll say 8 because it’ll only get better. But now, it’s 8, which is still an A.
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