If you’ve ever dated a Nigerian politician, you know the experience is a rollercoaster that leaves you questioning your life’s choices. Between the endless trips to Abuja for “party meetings,” the constant spiritual fortifications, and the stinginess that somehow vanishes in public, the cons sometimes outweigh the pros.
We spoke to seven people who have been in relationships with politicians, and let’s just say they’ve been through a lot.
Lola*
They’re relentless in their pursuit of power. My husband started running for a councillor position in his early 30s as a committed PDP member. But Lagos was mostly AC at the time, and he kept losing. After contesting three times, I and other family members advised him to try a different party or redirect his resources, but he refused and stayed with PDP, losing every time. He finally switched to APC when they took over Lagos, and after some waiting, he got the ticket and is now in his second term. Thinking about it, he spent nearly 12 years chasing that seat—ridiculous. This dedication is only shown in politics; it’s not like this in other areas of his life.
Hassan*
What’s really going on in Abuja? I get it’s the seat of power, but why do politicians need so many trips there? My girlfriend, a youth leader in her ward, makes at least one unplanned Abuja trip every month. If it’s not Abuja, it’s another state for a convention or meeting. I hate it because it makes planning anything as a couple impossible—she always has to check with her “leaders” first.
James*
I’ve never dated a politician, but my mum is a dedicated party woman, and I wonder how my dad copes. She’s out of the house most of the time for party meetings. The only benefit is the freebies—cash gifts, foodstuffs, and ad-hoc job opportunities. During festive seasons, we also get bags of rice, gallons of oil, and sometimes even livestock. I honestly can’t remember the last time we bought foodstuffs ourselves.
Grace*
Between politicians and yahoo boys, I don’t know who’s more fetish. During election season, it’s crazy. I’d open my ex’s wardrobe to find all sorts of concoctions and odd-looking containers. His perfumes even had particles, and some alfa, pastor, or herbalist always came to deliver something. I couldn’t relax around him because, after a while, I wasn’t sure if those “protections” were for safety or harm.
Ayo*
Politicians aren’t as generous as people think. I dated a local government chairman once, and he was stingy AF. He preferred impressing outsiders over spending on those close to him. Once, someone from his family even messaged me, begging me to convince him to pay his kids’ school fees. Imagine that—he wasn’t even giving me money like that. I haven’t been with other politicians, but that experience was all I needed to know they aren’t all that.
Bisi*
My university boyfriend was heavily into student politics, and I’ve never seen anyone with such deep trust issues and paranoia, especially around elections. If he walked past a group, he’d convince himself they were talking about him. Sometimes, he’d join their conversations to put in a good word. He even made his friends swear they wouldn’t betray him. It was exhausting. We broke up after uni, but I can only imagine the paranoia if he’s still in politics.
Patience*
They don’t take defeat well. My husband campaigned for Obanikoro in 2007, and I still remember when they declared Fashola the winner. He came home two days later and sank into a depression—he wasn’t eating, talking, or sighing constantly. I didn’t get it; he was more devastated than the actual candidate. Eventually, I called his family to come and snap him out of it.
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