When you think about dating an upcoming music star, your first thought is probably, “They’ll always want me to listen to their songs and tell them they’ll be the next Burna Boy.” And yeah, that’ll legit happen, but trust us—there’s way more to it than constant music reviews.
We spoke to some Nigerians who’ve been there, done that, and even helped fund a music video or two. Here’s what they had to say.
Adaora*
For the ones who are genuinely talented and deeply passionate about their art, the music always comes first. This is something you need to understand from the get-go. That way, you don’t feel like you’re in competition with something that means everything to them. And trust me, if it’s someone who lives and breathes music, they’ll never choose you over it. If you can accept that, you might find you have the thick skin to handle all the other bullshit that comes with dating an artist. I’m currently dating one, and it’s been a huge learning curve. They love in a way that not everyone will understand.
Tomi*
People don’t realise how much dating an artiste can mess you up. A near-success syndrome eats at you, especially when you’re invested in their dream. Every rejection, every song that fails to blow, every lukewarm response to the track you were sure would take you both out of the trenches, chips away at your soul. Even though you’re not the musician, you’re invested because, in their dream of the future, you’re either their manager, superstar lover, or a crucial team member. I wouldn’t recommend it. My ex eventually realised music wasn’t his calling, and that realisation contributed to our breakup. He felt I’d been egging him on instead of telling him the hard truth.
Henrietta*
I dated someone on the brink of mainstream fame but paid for it dearly. I lost my finances, my self-esteem, and even myself. It was partly my fault for not realising sooner that he saw me as a means to an end. My brothers are in showbiz and have some high-up connections, something I don’t go around advertising. But you’ll know if you’re close to me, especially as a partner. He used that to his advantage, constantly taking while I kept giving because he sold me this picture of a beautiful future together. I learned the hard way that many artists can be selfish and laser-focused on their goals, even if it means hurting those around them.
Feyi*
They’re always broke. It’s not because they don’t make money; the music eats it all. I’ve dated two upcoming artists, and while they were great guys, the financial drain was something I wasn’t ready for. Every penny went to unproductive studio sessions. When I asked them to spend on me, they’d tell grand stories about investing in their careers for a better future. The last straw was when my ex sold his car to fund a music video. To be fair, the car was problematic, but at least it saved us from jumping on buses or spending money on Uber. One day, I got to his place and found the car gone. He explained he’d sold it, and the video he made with the money? It’s still on his hard drive because he thinks it’s not good enough.
Denzel*
Dating an up-and-coming artiste is different for everyone because I am one. Some people like you for your music; others want you despite it. The best part about dating me as an artiste? I’ll make you my muse and involve you in my creative process. Also, I’m not putting “I’m an artiste” all in your face.
My relationships worked better when I was committed to my partners. Some artistes have stable relationships, and others are always knee-deep in drama. For me, if it didn’t work, it was either because my heart wasn’t in it or it was just casual. But as an artiste, I wouldn’t mind dating another up-and-coming act.
Hassan*
In the beginning, it wasn’t bad. Things only went south when one of us started progressing, and jealousy crept in. The best part of dating my ex was the quality time we spent together when she was free. Music was always her number one priority, but when she was available, she was fully present.
Would I date an upcoming artiste again? Nope. The industry has become too “dirty” for my liking, and I don’t want to be involved with someone still trying to break into that scene.
James*
I had to master the art of lying and telling the truth simultaneously. Sounds confusing, right? My girlfriend gets excited about her music, and I’m usually one of the first people she plays it to. Sometimes, I know we’re not making it out of the trenches with that song, but I try to soften the blow. And to be honest, some of the music grows on you over time. It’s like when Wizkid’s Essence first dropped—imagine if I shut it down the first time I heard it. Sometimes, you just need to give it a chance.
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