When women join the formal workforce, it gives them independence and more control over their lives. But some women know exactly what they want to do– stay home and take care of their families. We asked five working-class Nigerian women why they’d leave their jobs to become stay-at-home partners
Derin*(28)
I graduated from school in 2019 and immediately started working. Let me tell you, this adulting thing no be small play. I’ve been doing my best to grow in my career and make more money—I even got promoted recently—, but I’d leave my job in a heartbeat to be a stay-at-home mum. Especially this year, I’ve realised that what I really want to be is a homemaker. I can start a small business on the side if I get bored, but I want to pour my energy into building a home instead of this 9-5 that’s draining me.
I like that the jobs I’ve held helped me break free from my family’s suffocating control, but I’d much prefer not to be in traffic at 6:00 a.m. six days a week.
Meredith*(26)
I want to be a stay-at-home wife or partner because my mum was. I know it’s not the most popular opinion right now, and I get why, but with the right partner, the housewife experience can be so much more positive. My mum was around for all five of her children as we grew up, and I think it left a lasting positive impact on me. I just can’t imagine not being at home for my future child’s developmental years. I think it’s more important than holding a job. I’m a consultant with a fantastic CV, I can always get another job, but my child will only be two years old once. That said, I see how it can be a volatile arrangement, so I’m holding out for a good partner before I take the leap.
Adeola*(27)
I hate working a 9-5 so much! I’m a lawyer, and my work takes up so much time that I hardly have the bandwidth for hobbies and personal tasks. I don’t think I want kids— I just want to stay at home and live my life without worrying about stakeholders. My parents, who are also lawyers, are pressuring me to make a name in the field, so I feel ashamed to admit I’d hang my wig and gown in a heartbeat if I got the chance. I’m tired of dreading Mondays and sleeping at odd hours. I just want to marry– preferably a remote worker— and focus on myself and my home.
Arike*(25)
Honestly, I want to be a stay-at-home wife because it feels like an opportunity to focus on myself and my family. I can focus my time on self-development, manage the home efficiently, and be present for my partner while creating my art. I think my art career’s soft deadlines and schedules allow enough flexibility to accommodate caring for a home and even kids. I’ll be able to actively participate in their lives as they grow and develop. Formal workplaces are too rigid for my preferred lifestyle.
Tomi*(27)
In an ideal world, I’d be a stay-at-home partner in a flash. The current economic realities have made me feel like this lifestyle is out of my reach, but I’m convinced that with the right partner, I can make this stay-at-home arrangement work. I just want to take cooking classes, plan how the home operates and run after kids. It’s so much more appealing to me than my work which I find unfulfilling.
