We’ve explored what it’s like to date photographers who’ll make you their unpaid muse, food business owners who’ll turn you into their kitchen assistant, and lawyers who argue their way out of everything. Now, it’s time for fashion designers.
We asked six people to share their experiences dating a Nigerian tailor, and it’s safe to say they’ve seen their fair share of shege.
Aisha*
Dating a fashion designer sounds cool, but I’ll tell you now: it wasn’t. My ex was a talented designer. He’d sketch these amazing pieces and bring them to life like magic. Watching him create was inspiring, but the lies? That was a whole different story. At first, I didn’t notice because he was so charming, but eventually, I realised lying was second nature to him. Clients would call to check on their clothes, and he would confidently say, “Ah, it’s almost ready. I’m just waiting for your buttons to arrive,” when he hadn’t even bought the fabric yet. It became a pattern; he’d promise impossible deadlines, knowing he couldn’t meet them. Seeing it happen so often made me start doubting him in our relationship, too.
If he could lie so effortlessly to clients, what stopped him from lying to me? When he’d say, “I’m working late at the shop,” I’d wonder if that was true or if he was somewhere else. The paranoia became too much. I couldn’t tell if anything he said was real, and eventually, I had to leave.
Amaka*
One of the scariest days of my life happened because of my boyfriend. I was at his shop one afternoon, waiting for him while he went to get food, when an angry customer stormed in with a small group of guys, all shouting. At first, I didn’t even realise what was happening.
When I stood up to find out, the man screamed, “Where is your boyfriend? Where are my clothes?” Apparently, my boyfriend had promised to deliver his birthday outfit two weeks earlier. The birthday was in four days, and the clothes weren’t ready. Even though I wasn’t involved, the man’s boys grabbed me and two of his workers and started beating us.
They locked us in the shop for hours. I begged and cried, but they didn’t care. Eventually, my boyfriend showed up with the clothes and the remaining fabric, and they let us go. That incident scarred me. I couldn’t look at him the same way after that, and I broke up a few weeks later. I’ve had stressful relationships, but nothing has come close to that madness.
Efe*
Dating a Nigerian tailor has perks I’ll never forget. My wife uses me as her fit model for all her menswear designs, so I always have custom-made outfits, which are always fire. She adjusts the designs based on how they fit me, so by the time she’s done, they are basically made for me.
Sometimes, being her model is annoying. My wife is a perfectionist, and there are nights I’m exhausted and not in the mood to stand in front of a mirror, but she always finds a way to make me do her bidding. But then again, the compliments I get when I step out in her designs always make it worth it. She’s also the first tailor I know that doesn’t tell lies. I’ve seen how she’s always intentional about keeping customers updated about delivery schedules. I rate it so much.
Temi*
I learned so much about fashion from dating my boyfriend. Before we met, I didn’t know the difference between Ankara and batik or what made certain fabrics better. But being with him feels like taking a masterclass in Nigerian fashion.
He takes me to fabric markets, and I enjoy watching him bargain with traders. He knows the best vendors and can spot high-quality fabric with just a touch. Once, at Balogun Market, he taught me how to tell the difference between original lace and cheap knockoffs. Being part of his creative process is amazing too. I watch him sketch designs and love it when he asks for my opinion on colours or patterns. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve considered pivoting.
Of course, it isn’t always rosy. My boyfriend gets so obsessed with work that I sometimes feel neglected. Especially during festive periods, there are nights he’d work until 3 a.m. while I’m all alone at home, and when he returns in the morning, he’s too tired for conversation. But I can’t complain; this is the life he chose.
Kola*
Sometimes, I joke that my wife’s shop is her real home, and I’m the guy she visits occasionally. It sounds funny, but it’s not far from the truth. She eats, sleeps, and practically lives in her shop because she’s always working on one deadline or another.
There was a time I went two days without seeing her because she had back-to-back orders for a big event. I had to physically show up at her shop just to remind her that she has a husband at home. I found her curled up on a stack of fabrics, taking a nap.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly proud of her and her passion for her craft. But it gets frustrating when she prioritises her clients over everything else, even her health. Sometimes, I feel like I’m sharing her with her sewing machine, and it’s winning.
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