How did you guys meet?
It was through my sister’s ex-boyfriend. This was in December 2020, and my sister posted a photo of her boyfriend’s brother, Micah*, on her WhatsApp status. I told my sister I thought he looked good. My sister told her boyfriend, and he got excited and asked me if I liked Micah as a friend or something more. I said maybe it was a little bit of both, so he gave me Micah’s number. I sent him a message introducing myself, and that’s how our conversations began.
So when did you guys become official?
January 10, 2021. We started talking right after Christmas in December. Our first conversation was so smooth and enjoyable that we never stopped talking. So in January, I asked him out, and we started dating.
What was the beginning of your relationship like?
Omo, it was the best time of my life. I don’t think I’ve been in a relationship that was as good as this one with Micah. The first two weeks were the sweetest honeymoon phase ever. We lived far apart from each other in different cities, but we talked all the time.
What happened after the honeymoon phase?
We started having significant issues. Micah had to return to school for a course, so we became a long-distance couple. He lived in another city with poor road conditions, and my strict parents made it difficult for me to visit him. Adjusting to this new reality of a long-distance relationship was very difficult for me. He called me a lot though. If there were an award for the most video calls, we would have won.
However, I felt like he put zero effort into seeing me physically, and that hurt. I reluctantly adjusted to the distance, but then I started to sabotage the relationship.
How so?
I wasn’t used to dating people in my age range, so it took some getting used to. Plus I liked bad boys and needed the gbas gbos, toxic factor in a relationship to keep me excited. So I felt like he was too good for me because he’s really laid back. If I was wrong in a fight, Micah would apologise.
Once, in 2022, I told him I cheated on him. It was a lie, and I said that just for the fun of it. But I didn’t expect his reaction: he started apologising, saying it must have been something he did that made me cheat. I was so blown away and kind of disappointed. Then shortly after, I actually started cheating emotionally: I was talking to someone else. In my defence, I told him, but guess what he said? He said he’d work on himself so I wouldn’t have to look outside for anything.
How did his declaration make you feel?
I felt bored. He wasn’t going to fight with me or get mad, so I ghosted him. He texted for weeks, and I didn’t reply or acknowledge them. In May or June 2022, he stopped reaching out.
So when he stopped texting, did you reach out?
Yeah, I did. In October 2022, I texted him, told a few lies to explain my ghosting, and managed to get back into his life. We started talking regularly again.
So you guys got back together?
We almost did, but I ghosted him again. I’m sorry I can’t help myself. I left him for another relationship in December 2022. This time, though, we didn’t speak for over a year till he replied to one of my posts in early 2024. We started talking again, and we became official for the second time in April 2024.
Omo, you’re starting to look like the villain here
I was for a long time until this man switched up on me. I couldn’t believe it.
What happened?
Our relationship was short-lived. We started dating in April 2024 and were done by May. Micah had just graduated from the course he returned to school for and was processing his clearance. He came to my city in April, stayed a few days, and we had a wonderful time. Then, he switched up after he left. He suddenly didn’t pick up my calls or reply to my messages.
Did you confront him?
I did, and he admitted that he knew exactly what he was doing. He said he felt bad about it and confessed he wanted some space. I tried to break up with him, but he claimed that he wanted our relationship; he just needed space. I talked to my sister and close friends, who advised me that this guy was trying to do a soft breakup and I shouldn’t fall for the bait. So I told Micah I wasn’t doing the space thing with him and that we should break up in peace. He tried to force us to stay together, but I had made up my mind.
What happened next?
Well, things got really complicated. I found out I was pregnant.
Whoa, did you tell Micah?
Yes o. When I wasn’t sure, I told him I was going to the hospital, but I was praying that it wasn’t a pregnancy. Micah was like, “Why should we pray? It’s not pregnancy.”
When it became definite I was pregnant, he advocated that we keep the baby. I didn’t want to because I’m still at university, and I don’t want to disrupt my studies for a baby.
Micah’s family is wealthy, so I guess that’s where his confidence came from. My family is average and quite strict —I didn’t see how I could go and tell them I was pregnant without serious consequences.
Micah was in la-la land talking about his excitement to have kids with me while I was seriously thinking about how to make this baby fit in with my plans for my future. I talked to my cousin, who was a medical student, and he detailed the process of an abortion and how every second was crucial if that was the route I wanted to go. It sounded painful and scary, and I didn’t want to do it, so we opted to keep the baby.
Then he switched up completely.
Tell me how
Micah hinted his mum about the pregnancy, and she reacted angrily. She said he was too young, and even if he was going to have a baby, he couldn’t have one out of wedlock. Micah came to tell me he changed his mind and we should get rid of the pregnancy. By this point, I was already three months pregnant.
I was so upset and needed emotional support, but Micah left me hanging completely. He promised to send money to get the procedure done, but then he stopped replying to my messages and became hard to get a hold of.
The pregnancy hormones had started to get to me; I couldn’t eat, and I was so uncomfortable, but Micah treated me like a stranger. I couldn’t recognise him at all. To me, there was no way the guy I met back in 2021 would treat me like this, yet here we were.
My sister accompanied me to the procedure because Micah claimed he was too busy to come. Tell me why I saw him on my sister’s boyfriend’s snap in my city, grabbing drinks and chilling. I was overwhelmed with anger.
The procedure was painful and traumatic. I cried for hours. The next day, I called him and cried on the phone for more than thirty minutes, and he was silent the whole time. He said he was busy, and he would call me back. He never called back. I bled for a month straight, and he didn’t check on me once.
Oh my goodness, that’s horrible
See, I asked him for money to go to the hospital when the bleeding didn’t stop, and he said, ”Are you asking me for permission to go to the hospital? Okay, you have my permission; go.” I had to use my own money to sort things out. Again, he didn’t reach out to me at all. I had it out for him after that, and we didn’t speak for a few months. Then he reached out to me like nothing had happened.
How did you respond?
I won’t lie; I responded to his messages. After the abortion and the aftermath, I took my walk with God more seriously and learned forgiveness. In church, they talked about how Christians shouldn’t hold grudges against people who wronged them and how forgiveness can be freeing. So I let all the hurt and anger go.
Micah told me he still liked me, and I have to admit, he’s the exact type of guy I would love to settle down with because of his personality. I still like him a lot, but I’m choosing me right now.
Do you guys still speak?
Oh yeah. It’s nothing like when we just met but we respond to each other’s posts on social media, and I even wished him a happy birthday this past November.
Do you think you guys will ever get back together?
I doubt it. While I admit I still have a soft spot for him, and I would love to settle down with someone like him, it’s just too soon to even consider him. He sometimes says he feels like I’m too good for him, but I’m in a happy relationship right now, so I’m not concerned. I’m just grateful to God for delivering me from that Scorpio spawn of the devil.
