If you think you went through a lot in 2024, you’ve probably not had a heart-to-heart with the single people in your circle. Trust me, they saw shege in 3D. And while we can’t help them get the justice they deserve, we can at least start by calling out the “relationship experts” who are making things worse.
These people need to be stopped ASAPingly.
Nons Miraj
I unintentionally stumbled on her show, The Huntgames, a matchmaking series that claims to help single people find their soulmates. At first, I thought, “Well, this is a good thing.” Then the horror show began.
Many episodes have men serving misogyny on a platter while the ladies let it slide, and the host just laughs it off like it’s casual banter. By the end, you’re left wondering if the goal is to help people find love or simply watch single people embarrass themselves on Obasanjo’s internet.
Lege Miami
Every Instagram live video he posts is worse than the last. And while his poor use of English is always a valid enough reason to make you log off, it’s unfortunately the least of his crimes.
This self-proclaimed matchmaker spends more time hurling heavy curses at his guests than actually helping them, leaving you wondering if his platform is a haven for people with humiliation kinks. Clearly, no one is there for true love or any semblance of romantic desires.
Blessing CEO
Honestly, if you’re taking relationship advice from someone who tags herself “Queen of Clout,” maybe true love isn’t what you deserve.
Blessing CEO is infamous for her social media antics and thirst for drama, but somehow she’s convinced her followers she knows the ways of Cupid. Take her advice at your own risk, but know this: your relationship doesn’t stand a chance.
Skuki Peeshun
Of everyone on this list, Skuki Peeshaun is the only one who sometimes offers relationship advice that might actually help you bag or keep the love of your life.
But let’s be real, when was the last time you heard Afrobeats lyrics as chaotic as “She say make I pump her back like a forkanizer”? It’s time for him to hang up his relationship hat and return to making music. The singles will be okay.
Esabod
You might not know her, but if your parents or aunties have access to social media, chances are they do.
Esabod is the auntie/uncle-era relationship guru you didn’t ask for, and she’s probably the reason your 65-year-old granny is talking about “spicing things up” in ways that are not pleasing to big daddy’s gbola. Her dangerously adventurous advice needs to stop if we want to keep our elderly loved ones around a little longer.
Saida Boj
To be fair, she doesn’t claim to be a relationship expert. But if you’ve ever seen her videos, you know she’s teaching women how to dig for gold like it’s a professional sport.
She even has a song called Gold Diggers. God, abeg. While her gospel of “money over everything” might land you cash cow cosplaying as a lover boy, do you honestly think it’ll lead you to the love of your life?
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