The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
Chika (24) had a pretty sweet life and solid friends in Nigeria, so when his parents told him they had processed his visa to the UK, he rebelled against it, but later, he came around. In this Abroad Life episode, Chika talks about leaving for the UK a day after his NYSC and finding his footing in the country.
Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?
I live in England, and I left Nigeria in October 2023, a day after my National Youth Service Corpe (NYSC) Passing Out Parade (POP)
How did you leave?
I left on a student visa; I’m here for my master’s.
Is there a reason you chose that route and the part of England you stay in?
There’s no particular reason. When I arrived, I stayed in London for a bit with my sister, but she got a job in this city, so I had to move with her. It wasn’t easy to manoeuvre school, but I did it because I had no choice. I had just arrived, and I had no job or money to get my own place.
I’m also not the kind of person to burden anyone, so I had to just stay with my sister and find my way to school. But I didn’t go every time I had lectures. Sometimes I did it the Nigerian way and asked someone to sign my attendance for me.
Was there a reason you moved immediately after your NYSC?
Trust me, it wasn’t planned. I guess it was just God’s plan.
You must have been working towards it at some point. How did that happen?
My parents instigated it, and I was against it. I didn’t want to travel, so I rebelled against the idea. I was enjoying my time with my boys, doing drive-throughs and stuff.
Nigeria was really fun for me, and I was doing just fine. There were already signs I was going to be retained at the company I worked at so I saw no reason to travel.
That said, I accepted my parent’s plans later on. I felt like it was going to work if God wanted it to, so I gave it a shot. People thought it was something I had been planning for a very long time, but the whole thing took about three months or so.
Can you walk me through the process?
My parents and my uncle had already started working on the process before I was in the loop.
I usually dropped my important documents like my NECO, WAEC, and testimonials with my dad. My uncle also works in my secondary school, so it was pretty easy to start the admission process without me. It was when they needed other documents (my transcript certificate) that they involved me. Like I said, I initially rebelled, but I ultimately gave them everything they needed. After that, all he told me was I needed to go for my interview, biometrics, and all that. Everything happened so fast. That’s how I knew God actually wanted it to happen, so I just gave in as much as I could.
Did your parents process the whole thing themselves because they already knew you wouldn’t want to leave?
Not really. I think my parents have always sought an easy way for their kids because they sort of foresaw the way Nigeria would turn out.
That’s really nice and thoughtful. So, did they pick your course of study?
My dad and I had tons of conversations about masters prior to this, so he already knew my choice.
That makes a lot of sense. So, how has life been since you got to the UK?
I can’t say it’s good. I can’t say it’s bad.
Oh, okay. Please tell me more.
It’s mostly because I was only able to make a friend about eight months after I moved here.
Ah, your first friend?
Yeah. He’s Nigerian, and I connected with him through TikTok. But before then, I had already bumped into him twice on my way to work.
That’s very interesting. I’m curious about why it took you that long to make your first friend
All I do is go to school, come back home, shop for groceries, come back home, go to work, come back home, or go on a stroll and come back home.
So, have you tried expanding your community?
Not really. I feel like another reason why I’ve found it hard doing that is because making new friends online is okay for me, but I’m not really so keen on making new friends physically because I feel like the devil I know is even better than the one I don’t.
Once, I tried making friends with someone I met on the bus. We live ten minutes away from each other, but after we met like twice and I walked her home, we haven’t seen each other again. I mostly just talk to my friends online and make TikToks. That’s my life here, but I’m willing to expand.
Would you consider living in England lonely compared to the life you had in Nigeria?
It’s not like it’s lonely. I’m normally a very social person, but I haven’t really been able to be that person here because of the things I’ve had to do. Also, I don’t just make friends with just anybody. I like creating strong and proper connections. And I actually have friends in the UK, only that they live so far away. My social life will definitely change once I’m done with my master’s.
How so, though?
First, I’m going to move out of my sister’s house. When I stay on my own, my friends can come over, and I can go over to my friends. I can also explore other lifestyles, going into fashion content and modelling and stuff. I want to get serious with things I used to do in Nigeria that I just had to put on hold because of my master’s.
Let’s talk a bit more about you living with your sister. What is it like?
It’s just like living with family, which has always been normal and fun. It’s just like leaving home for home.
Would you say that living with your sibling limited your social freedom in a way?
Not really. In fact, I can actually say it was me who limited myself because they know I’m an adult who can decide things for myself. It’s not like they can stop me from going out if I want to. The least they can do is tell me to be careful and stay safe.
You said earlier that you didn’t want to leave Nigeria because you had fun with your boys. What was so special about that life?
It was the bond and the fact that we all shared the same life and interests. They were people I could relate to. We like the same things. I love cars, and they do, too. It’s so easy that we never planned our outings; they just happened.
One can’t have everything, but I had the things that I could. Having real and sincere friends is one of the best things in this life. Friendship is not something that is just so easy to get and I had mine for six years and over.
So, what is the most interesting part about living in the UK for you?
One of the good things about living in the UK is that your eyes will be opened to things that you didn’t know before. Another thing is that it exposes you to things that can actually help you make a more profitable life for yourself. I also like creating content on TikTok, and the UK makes that easier.
Have you witnessed any culture shocks since moving to the UK?
Quite a lot. There are many sexy cars here that aren’t in Nigeria. I’m sorry, the first time I’m talking about is a car, but I can’t help it.
The laws are also a culture shock, but they make sense because they keep us safe. In Nigeria, many people are scared of walking in the night because of the risks, but you can literally walk in the UK at 1 a.m., or 2 a.m. without fear. I think it depends on the city, though, but it’s generally safe.
The weather is another shocker, too. UK weather is bi-polar. I always say that I can’t be friends or even date someone who is as bipolar as the weather here.
Speaking of dating. I mean, if you took it this long to find a friend, I’m wondering if anything has happened to your dating life since you moved to the UK.
I’ve not been in any relationship since I’ve been in the UK. My previous relationship became tough months before I left Nigeria, so we broke up. I think it’s also one of the reasons why I gave the UK a chance. I just wanted to get a breath of fresh air because I was mentally and emotionally messed up. It really affected me.
Do you mind telling me why it affected you enough to influence your move?
I had an emotional and mental breakdown. Everything around me revolved around her. She was a part of me already. My family knew already, too; we dated for about three years and were on our way to the fourth.
On a scale of one to 10, how happy would you say you are with your life in the UK?
I’m not sure, but I’ll say 8.5. It’s good, but things could be better. I had a breakdown a few months ago because of school stress. It’s not fully great, but it’s still really good.
Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).
