Someone you know has left or is planning to leave. 1,000 Ways To Japa will speak to real people and explore the infinite number of reasons and paths they use to get to Japa
Temi didn’t just cross seven seas to find a degree and the love of her life, she left the life she had in Ukraine to start afresh in Nigeria too. In this edition of 1000 Ways To Japa, she talks about regretting her decision to move back to Nigeria, battling with depression, dealing with a fraudulent travel agent and japa’ing for the second time to London where she met her husband.
When did you leave Nigeria, and where do you currently live?
I left Nigeria in 2022. I currently live in London, United Kingdom.
Why did you want to japa?
There’s a whole story behind that. I had already japa’d before to Ukraine but moved back to Nigeria when things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to.
My plan was to briefly stay in Nigeria then go back to Ukraine , but that didn’t happen because the war started shortly after I left.
I found it hard to adjust to my life in Nigeria. I was just depressed most of the time. I made a big life shift. I went from having my own place to living under my parent’s roof. It also didn’t help that I was going through a heartbreak as well. I just needed a fresh start. So when my mom’s friend brought the idea of the UK, it was a no-brainer. I decided that I was going to do a master’s there.
It’s a good thing you got your fresh start. How did you start the travel process?
My mum’s friend introduced me to an agent who was supposed to help out with the entire process, but that didn’t go well because he wasn’t a real agent; he was a middleman.
There were many red flags I didn’t pick up on at first. There were certain times that he insisted on me coming to his office alone. My mom noticed, and she made sure I never went alone. He also used to raise his fees consistently– there was always something we needed to pay for that he forgot to add. I didn’t notice all of this until much later, and it ended up delaying my immigration process. I was supposed to leave in April, but I ended up leaving in September. The problems with the agent got so bad that we had to inform my dad.
How come he didn’t know?
My dad didn’t want me to leave Nigeria; he wanted me to practice medicine there, so we didn’t inform him that I was processing my move to the UK. It was the same thing when I was moving to Ukraine to study medicine.
Anyway, when things got bad with this agent, we had to inform him. We figured out stuff from there, but the resumption date had gotten so close, and there were still many things to iron out because of the initial delay. I remember getting emails from school back to back saying, “If you don’t arrive by this time, you’re not going to be able to get the two-year postgraduate visa that people usually get.” It was such a scary moment, because I kept asking myself what would be the point of going at all if I didn’t get that two-year post-graduate visa?
After a while, I finally got my visa, and it was just hectic because it was coming from Abuja. I had to leave Nigeria two days after I got the visa. I couldn’t say goodbye to so many people because it was so unexpected.
How did your friends react?
Most of them knew I was going to travel, but they just didn’t know when. The moment the visa arrived, we immediately started hurrying to buy a ticket and figure out how to get everything else I needed; there wasn’t time to squeeze any goodbyes in.
The school had resumed in August, and I was leaving in September, so we were really worried that I would not even be allowed in. Explaining to people wasn’t so easy; some people would assume that you didn’t say goodbye because you thought they were witches. There was a friend of mine who was my coursemate in Ukraine. Unfortunately, he didn’t pass his final exam, so he did not graduate as a doctor. He had to return to Nigeria but was working towards returning to Ukraine. I think I had casually told him about my plans to move to the UK. I couldn’t tell him when I was leaving, so when I got to the UK, I sent him a text. He was upset because of that, and it caused a bit of a rift between us.
Sorry about that. I’m curious, though, why did you hire an agent?
Before the war in Ukraine started, I had gotten my invitation letter to move back to the country, but after the war halted plans, I needed a backup plan as quickly as possible. I looked up a few schools on my own, but I never applied because using an agent was supposed to be easier and faster.
What are the red flags you’ll ask people to look out for when using an agent?
One of the red flags I’d always ask people to look out for is hidden charges. If the agent keeps coming up with new bills for you to pay, they are most likely trying to scam you.
Something else you want to do is carry out your own background check and try to find out how many people they’ve successfully helped. To make things easier, just rely on referrals. Learn from people’s mistakes and replicate their successes. I’d never, for instance, refer the first agent I used to anyone, and there’s a high chance others won’t recommend the horrible agents they used.
Lastly, pray and ask as many questions as possible. You can’t really know the heart of a human being, so just keep praying and stay in the know as much as possible by asking the right questions.
What did the transition process of moving from Ukraine to Nigeria look like?
It really wasn’t easy. But there was a part of me that was just happy to be going back to my family. As difficult as the transition was, I needed the change of scenery because I was struggling with my mental health.
Did moving to Nigeria help?
It helped a bit, but Nigeria will always have problems. There were times that I asked myself why I had never left Ukraine in the first place. At some point, I felt like my life didn’t have any sense of direction, but things picked up later. I got to rekindle old friendships and enjoy time with my family.
How different is London from Ukraine and Nigeria?
My life is different here in London. My first few months here were a struggle but I’ve settled in now and I’m the most fulfilled I’ve ever been in my life. If I were to compare, I’d say Ukraine is cheaper. The only issue was the language barrier; here in London, I see billboards and signs that I can actually read but in Ukraine, I had to do a lot of translation in my head.
Living in London has also been more beautiful because I met my husband here.
Congratulations. I’m assuming you’re done with your masters now.
Oh yes. It was challenging, but it went well. I met my husband in school, too. At the time, I had told myself that I was just going to focus on books, work hard, get my distinction, and figure out life from there. When we met, I told him about my plans to focus on my academic goals, but he was quite persistent, and we ended up dating. We moved in together a few months later, and now we are one month and a couple of days married,
So, how’s life as a newlywed going?
Honestly, I would say life since meeting him has just been fulfilling. I’m so content with my life. Things could be going wrong, but having him around makes me feel sane and safe. I’m glad I stopped playing hard to get because this is the most beautiful part of life so far.
I think I know the answer to this, but on a scale of one to 10, how happy would you say you are with your life in the UK?
100 times infinity. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been
Want to to share your japa story? Please reach out to me here.
