Kids are some of the most delightfully gullible people on the planet. And let’s be honest: Sometimes, parents have to get creative to enforce rules or get them to behave. The result? Some of the most unhinged fibs you’ll ever hear.
We asked 12 young Nigerians to share the hilarious lies their parents told them growing up, and their responses are wild AF.
Toni*
My parents told me if a boy hugs you, you’ll get pregnant. Thank God for biology class.
Danielle*
If you sit on a man’s lap, you will get pregnant immediately… what a lieeee.
Shola*
My mom told me that if I swallowed chewing gum, my intestines were going to get glued together, and I’d have to get an injection at the hospital to fix it. I’m terrified of needles so I didn’t even question it until I got to secondary school.
Raye*
They told me if I ate a lot of beans, I’d grow taller, look at me now, five foot something.
Dami*
I’m left-handed. Growing up, kids at school would tease me for being ‘different.’ To make me feel better, my mum told me about great women who were also left-handed and asked me to tell the kids at school that being left-handed was an indicator of greatness.
Years later, I found out most of those women weren’t left-handed, but the lie gave me the confidence to stop caring about the constant teasing.
Joe*
If a man walks across your legs, your children will look like him.
Seye*
My parents told me you’ll lose your voice if you spit on the ground and someone steps on it. They also said they’ll know if you touch their things, even if you arrange it perfectly.
Dare*
I heard that if a lizard’s fluid touches your skin, you’ll become epileptic. I avoided playing with lizards like a plague when I was younger.
Simi*
If you play with cockroaches, they can give you leprosy.
Jacob*
Once you finish your school, you will have all the time in the world to play. I work 9-5 now, no time for play o
Brenda*
While trying to switch my dominant hand from left to right, they told me if I ate with my left hand, Satan would touch my meat. I lived in terror till I was twelve.
Aaron*
I was a chronic food waster as a child, so my parents told me every time I wasted food, an angel got sick and died. Omo I dey finish my food since then o.
