I’ll always preach the gospel that NYSC should begin and end with the three-week orientation camp. Why do I have to dedicate a year of my life to serving my fatherland? It’s giving forced labour, please.
Anyway, I decided to rank 16 experiences that are very familiar to anyone who has ever, or will potentially answer, annoying names like Otondo, Corper Wee Wee Wee and Corper Wa Wa Wa. TF?
Let’s get into it.
1. Receiving your call up letter
This is where you know if you serve a living God or if your village people have plans for you. If you get the state you want, good for you. If you don’t, you’ll start asking yourself questions like, ”Is this even necessary?”
Verdict: This is fun.
2. Packing for camp
You think you know what confusion is? Wait until you hear distorted information about the number of photocopies to make, white shorts and shirts to pack, and everything else that should follow you to camp. I made a total of 100 photocopies.
Verdict: Get me out of here.
3. Arriving at orientation camp
It might not look like it because you’ll probably be stressed AF, but it’s one of the sweetest NYSC experiences because it’s real as shit. It’s the real “Mama, I made it” moment followed by this next one.
Verdict: This is fun.
4. Getting your NYSC gear
If you’re still in doubt, receiving your NYSC kit will help you realise that true true, na you be the latest corper wee in town.
Verdict: This is fun.
5. When nothing fits you
This is where chaos starts. You’ll have to ask strangers if they’re willing to exchange with you. Whether you find someone or not, it’s lowkey one of the most annoying things to experience on the first day in camp.
Verdict: Get me out of here.
6. The struggle for bedspace
As someone who got the bed space closest to the room’s entrance and toilet, let me tell you that this seemingly simple activity of choosing where to sleep can define what your camp life will look like. NYSC should better make bed space and room selection part of the registration process.
Verdict: Get me out of here.
7. Bonding with your roomates
If you take a cherished moment/experience away from NYSC, it probably started from your assigned room. This is where you’ll likely make friends with random people you don’t know from Adam.
Verdict: This is fun.
8. The early morning drills
This one will make you swear from the bottom of your heart for the person who came up with the idea that birthed NYSC.
Verdict: Get me out of here.
9. Getting your first pay
The money might only buy a plate of food at mami but yes to chopping government money!
Verdict: This is fun.
10. Discovering mami market
If you’re like me who didn’t want anything to do with camp food, the mami market will be your small mecca during your time in camp.
Verdict: This is fun.
11. Your first allawee
Of course, you’re happy AF to receive your first monthly allawee even if it’ll only last a few days.
Verdict: This is fun.
12. PPA posting
Two things can happen here: Your connect comes true and you’re posted to your desired PPA or NYSC flings you to an abandoned organisation in the middle of nowhere. Either way, the anxiety of finding out both is not recommended.
Verdict: Get me out of here.
13. Weekly/monthly CDS
Please, NYSC should begin and end with the three weeks in orientation camp. Every other activity is not necessary.
Verdict: Get me out of here.
14. Passing out parade
It’s like getting to the end of a badly written Nollywood script. Won’t you be happy when you see “The End”? Exactly. Let’s pack this shit up and never speak of it again.
Verdict: This is fun.
15. The big social media post
How else will the people know you’re fit to run for office if they don’t find pictures of you posing with your NYSC certificate? Documenting is an important process of it all, please dear.
Verdict: This is fun.
16. Jobless again
So your PPA didn’t retain you. You reach out to relatives who promised to help with a job and they say “Aired, DFKM”. On top of this, the government has stopped giving you their meagre ₦33k. Haq haq haq. Welcome to your quarter-life crisis era.
Verdict: Get me out of here.
Take the quiz: Only People Who Did NYSC Will Get 8/12 In This Quiz
