I might’ve loved my school uniform as a primary school student, but I can’t entirely say the same for my secondary school.
It was an uninspiring combination of navy blue trousers and a white shirt. Very low effort, and understandably so because no Nigerian government official is thinking fashion when selecting uniforms.
If you read this article where I ranked the uniforms of 15 Nigerian private schools, you’ll understand why this one exists. Let’s see what our good ol’ government schools are up to.
13. Federal Government College, Ilorin
If I have to stare at this uniform as a teacher every day, the government better be writing me a fat check for eye maintenance. And another for dark shades.
12. Government College, Ibadan
Ibadan people might appear in my dreams and hunt me for days, but I’ll say it anyway. This entire combination is giving “correctional facility”. You see it too, right?
11. Abeokuta Grammar School, Ogun
I’m seeing the vest cardigan with yellow stripes again, and it’s successfully distracting me from spotting just how basic this uniform is. But I see it.
10. Mayflower School, Ikene, Ogun
Is it my eyes or they’re actually combining shorts with sleeveless blouses? Okay. I’ll give it to management for trying to tone down the seriousness of the uniform. I’m all for that.
9. Idia College, Benin
Even if you could ignore the annoying collar, you wouldn’t be able to do the same for the odd pink shirt and chequered purple skirt combination. And I won’t judge you for it.
8. Command Schools
Nothing screams “government” more than agriculture green, but you have to give it to the school management for bodying this colour so well. Also, that hat they have going on? I loveeet!
7. Lagos State Model College, Badore
First of all, green socks should be criminal. When you go the extra mile to throw in a miniature red tie (that you think we wouldn’t notice), you should do naughty corner time. If a doctor finds his way to this school, he’d diagnose half the students with almost-Christmas syndrome. All that red and green probably has them confused.
6. Federal Government College, Ikot Ekpene
I’ve seen some private schools pull their weight with their execution of colour blue, but this is a discovery. As much as I hate to admit, everything works, especially the white socks.
5. Federal Government College, Umuahia
I don’t know if it’s the clean formation or the beret and socks combination, but I’m sold on the ministry of this uniform. They get an extra plus for that little stylish thing going on with the skirt.
4. Baruwa College, Zaria
I love that I’m staring at this uniform, and I’m not immediately thinking students or government school. Don’t they just look like entry-level trainees about to receive your bank deposits? Management needs to complete this uniform with a blazer.
3. Christ’s School, Ado-Ekiti
There’s too much blue going on, but I’ll allow it simply because government school is the last thing that comes to mind looking at this photo. Whoever threw in the rafia-themed hats did a thing.
2. King’s College, Lagos
I don’t know if it’s the way these young men are posing and giving CEO vibes, but this uniform is a serve. It’s the best execution of blazers I’ve seen in a minute — not too baggy and not overflowing to knee level (except for that one boy).
1. Federal Government College, Lagos
Tell me you don’t want to enrol your child in this school, so that they can step out of the house every morning and people will ask “What’s the name of your school, sweety?” Because the uniform is so fire.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
