When it comes to food and eating, there are certain unspoken rules every Nigerian should know. These rules have been around since forever; knowing it means you understand the deep and mysterious things of stomach-related affairs.
1. A pack of spaghetti is for three people.
Yes. Every other thing is an aberration.
2. You don’t use all the noodle seasoning if you want your noodles to be edible.
One and half for two pack of noodles, two for three packs, and so on.
3. Never ever throw away the meat stock (water got from boiling meat).
It is a major flavour for soups and Jollof rice.
4. Fried rice has a very short expiry date.
Thou shall consume it as soon as it is prepared. Do not attempt saving it for days.
5. Daddy, mummy and the guests are the only ones who will eat rice and stew on two separate plates.
The children use only one plate. Stew on top of rice, that’s all.
6. If you plan to steal meat, put it under your rice. Nobody will ever find out.
7. Want to steal meat without getting caught? Take a knife and cut small small out of everything.
It’s called slim-fitting and it’s better than moving one whole chunk of meat.
8. The best way to test your self-control is to fry a bunch of plantain without tasting it.
Only then can we trust you with Nigerian funds.
9. Chicken is greater than turkey.
10. Frying dodo with palm oil is an elite business.
Only the real recognise the real.
