Some of you are shameless. Because why are you eating baby food? And you have the nerve to call yourself a full-grown adult.
Golden Morn
If you feel attacked, it’s because you’re probably eating a bowl right now. Golden Morn is made for people that can’t chew — you know, like babies? It’s like pre-chewed cornflakes? So, why?
Custard and pap
I’m here for the people drinking five litres of pap. Why? If you can’t drink garri with your moi-moi or akara, you need to walk around with a pacifier.
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Mashed potatoes
Some of you aren’t ready for this but the hour has come. The word “mashed” is enough for you to put it down. You can keep calling it an “acquired taste”, but it’s really just for rich kids — those ones that cost their parents 600k per term for creche.
Beans
You can’t grow any taller, so why are you still eating beans as an adult?
Semo
I found people somewhere on the internet turning semo into pap. Creativity needs a limit abeg. But since pap is already baby food, this one sef follow. Do better.
RELATED: Interview With Semo: “My Slander Is So Forced”
Smoothies
There’s no explanation for why you’re drinking things you can chew. The fitfam crew may want to throw hands but that’s their business. If you’re blending fruits rather than sitting down to chew them, you should be in the kiddies’ corner.
Soup
As an adult, you’re made for the harder things of life and can’t be slurping up soups. What you need to do is eat the eba or amala straight. That’s how to test that you’re ready for life’s reality. Stop being a baby.
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