In the spirit of Valentine, we decided to give four foods the chance to write love letters to those they care about. This is Love Letters to Food.
Dear Beans,
Remember when we were at a bukka and a man came in shouting that their food had given him explosive diarrhoea? He was so furious as told them how he spent his entire day in and out of the toilet and even finished all the tissue in the house.
We just sat in a corner laughing because you were the cause of his stomach problem. When you were being cooked, you pretended like you were done, so the seller put off the fire and served you like that. It was even funnier because I was on the plate with you and knew the prank you were about to pull. It was such a foolish prank.
I miss when we used to cause mischief. You were always ready to do foolish things with me, and that’s why you’re my favourite cousin in the entire world. You’re the one family member I genuinely get along with. Butter and egg are great, but they’re also boring. Their idea of fun is starting polls on who between them people prefer to eat me with. And I hate the polls because I’d rather be eaten with you.
People used to eat us together a lot. . They used to crave us so much that, before Thursday, we would’ve been served to at least 16 people in one bukka alone. We were the perfect team because we taste great for how cheap we are. But now, we rarely see each other.
You spend a lot more time with yam, plantain and rice. And I guess it’s because people don’t just want to eat you and me all the time. I’ve even seen you hang out with sliced bread and spaghetti a few times. And while I’m happy you get to spend more time with other foods (I’m not sure about you and spaghetti sha), I sometimes long for the days when it was you and I, with the others as “once in a while” options.
You’re not just my cousin, you’re my best friend. And despite all the foods I’ve met in this life, there’s no one like you. You’re so cool people even eat you alone and enjoy you. You make them gassy and that makes you such a fun food because there’s never a dull moment with you. Remember when we used to laugh at short people who ate a lot of you because they thought it would make them taller? Or when people used to dip me in Coke because that’s how much sapa had dealt with them. Good times.
Thank you for bringing excitement into my life. Thank you for showing me there’s more to life than sitting around and waiting to be eaten. As I’ve said about 100 times in this love letter, I miss you cuz. Life is boring without you. I really hope we get to spend a lot more time together this year. With the way the economy is going, more people will look for us soon, so be ready. We need to be there for them in their time of need.
I can’t wait to see you again.
Love,
Agege bread
