It’s Friday night, and you’ve just entered this new spot called Z Bar, the superior alphabet bar in Lagos (argue with your laptop charger). You walk in and see the name Zikoko everywhere, and there’s a mix of joy and fear on your face. Because you know nothing is normal when it comes to Zikoko.
This is what’s likely to happen if Zikoko were to be a bar:
You’ll be quizzed
“Take This Quiz, and We’ll Know If You’re Above 18 or Not”. We can’t just give you drinks without knowing if you’re legal or not. You’ll also have to take the “How Drunk Are You?” quiz so we can know when to stop giving you drinks.
We’ll have the most exciting cocktail names
We’re Zikoko, so we don’t do basic cocktail names like Margarita, Daiquiri, Tequila Sunrise etc. Expect to hear names like “God abeg”, “Lagos traffic“, “Gen-Z=Best in employees”, “Wizkid is more popular than Ronaldo”, “I don’t want to be a mechanic”…
We’ll serve you drinks in an entertaining way
You know those cool tricks bartenders do, like throwing the bottle up and catching it? We’ll also do something like that, but we’ll dance “Joha” and “Ijo laba laba” instead, to give you a proper show. If we do bottle-throwing tricks, somebody will get injured and that’s how the party will end.
You’ll also be fed
We won’t allow you to drink on an empty stomach. As we give you a drink, we’re giving you food to go along with it. We pray not to run out of business by giving free food anyhow.
Expect to see a lot of purple
Your drinks WILL be purple no matter what drink you order. Take it or leave it. Purple glass with a purple straw/tiny umbrella, and it’s not because you’re a pimp named Slickback.
Also, expect a lot of Zs
Why did ex leave you? Because XYZ. [Omo just take this joke like that.] This is the type of content to expect in our menu because we’re funny like that. Also, don’t be surprised when your ice and cocktail glass are in the shape of a “Z”. It’s giving aesthetics.
You’ll definitely have a good time
We learnt from the best. Your drinks will be 98% spirit and 2% juice, so you’d get lit. Only problem is, you may wake up in your ex’s bed the next day sha.
Dorime for everybody
Everyone gets a Dorime, even if they buy water. As long as you’re buying from Z Bar, we’ll hype you.
Our drinks are based on dollar price
If the dollar price goes up that minute while you’re ordering the drink, we’re changing the price, sorry. What you should pray for is that it goes down.
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If you’re looking for cocktails that won’t be affected by the dollar price, and won’t leave you with the worst hangover that man has ever experienced, then we’re not for you. Go for Lagos cocktail week instead. There you’ll experience various cocktails by different mixologists and drink sponsors, and you’ll get to see more than just purple drinks.
Be sure to attend the Cocktail Village Pop-up especially. It’s happening at the Balmoral Convention Center on the 20th and 21st of October 2022. Wristbands to attend cost just ₦5,000. Z Bar drinks are much more expensive than that. Click here to get your tickets.
