The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
Amina (26) had a soft landing in Canada, but nothing prepared her for the seasonal depression and loneliness in her new country. In this edition of Abroad Life, she shares how much she has grown since her move, but still feels like something important is missing.
Where do you live, and when did you relocate from Nigeria?
I live in Canada and I moved in April 2022.
What has the last three years in Canada looked like for you?
I had a soft landing. I was fortunate to stay with my sister for over two years. I only recently moved into my apartment, so I haven’t bothered about paying bills since I moved to Canada, and I am forever grateful for that. My brother did not have the same experience because he moved to Canada before us ( my sister and I); he was on his own, and that was tough.
But even though I’ve had it easy so far, there are things that I’m still trying to figure out.
Like what?
Building a physical community has been hard, and I’m still struggling with it. But I have a great online community on Twitter that has is now bigger than I and my friend imagined when we started it.
I’m grateful that we have that community, but I wish I had a stronger physical community. I know a lot of people in my province, but I am not friends with them. I had a solid group of friends back in Nigeria, and unfortunately, japa happened. Some of them are now in Canada, but we are not in the same province. We typically have to plan and travel for hours before seeing each other.
Sounds tough. How hard is it to maintain those friendships?
We are still strong as ever. I always find time for my friends, whether they are in Nigeria or anywhere else in the world. Moving abroad actually made me feel closer to my friends, because I always need someone to talk to about what’s going on in my life. I don’t have physical friends, so I won’t abandon the people who have been there for me because I’ve moved to a new location.
I always find a way to talk to my friends and not miss birthdays. We also bond through movies. If I’m watching something new, I’ll drop a message saying, “Oh, you should see this movie”. My friends are also amazing people who understand that I feel lonely here sometimes. Most of us have been friends for up to 10 years, and there’s no way we’re giving up on each other.
You’ve hacked long-distance friendship. How do you stay connected to your family members in Nigeria?
My parents are late, and I’m here with all my siblings, so the only family I have left in Nigeria are aunts and uncles.
Sorry about your parents.
Thank you. I’m still in contact with my extended family. Thankfully, the relationship thrives on mutual respect—typically when you move here, some people start looking at you like a breadwinner but my family members still see me as a baby. They don’t ask me for anything, but I still try my best to send whatever I can home, especially because of how bad the economy is now.
Why do you think you’re still struggling to find physical friends?
I have friends, but they are not in my province. Funny enough, I have friends in almost every province in Canada, but this country is lonely, whether you have friends or not. Everyone is working hard because time is money here. Your friends will likely run between shifts even if you have time to hang out. Plus, the country is so big that you can spend two hours driving between two provinces. Last summer, I was in Ontario to visit friends and family, and it was a long drive away from my province. I visited other family members and drove for two hours to another province. Sometimes, it is unlucky because the people I know are not in the same city as me, and seeing them means driving for hours. The only good thing is that road trips are safe in Canada, so you can always decide to hit the road, as long as you are prepared.
Nice! What’s the best part about living in Canada?
My career growth has been insane. When I think of where I am right now, I doubt that it would have been possible if I were still living in Nigeria. It wasn’t easy to get here. I was jobless for six months when I first moved to Canada. My sister gave me the chance to settle in, so I didn’t rush into job hunting. It took three months of actively searching before I got a job here, and it was a customer service role. Two months into the role, I got accepted into a program requiring me to leave the customer service job. It was an eight-week program that came with a six-week internship. After the internship, I was offered full-time permanent employment and worked there for two years. Then I got a new job last month and I’m loving it!
Did you experience any culture shock?
I have lived in Nigeria all my life, and so many things have taken me by surprise. But the biggest surprise was the weather. I’ve experienced three winters now, and all three felt different. I didn’t know there was something called seasonal depression till I got here. It’s hard to do anything during the winter.
On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Canada?
Some days, it’s ten and on other days, it’s eight. In Nigeria, I could carry my bag and go to a friend’s house for a few days. But I can’t do that here. I also don’t have access to the food I love to eat, which is Amala. If I could, I’d take a trip back to Nigeria just to eat Amala. On the other hand, I found security here— I’ve gone on amazing trips and seen Asa perform live, so I’m happy.
Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).
