The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
After being stuck in the UK’s small dating pool for so long, Amaka (26) finally made it out. In this edition of Abroad Life, she talks about falling in love with a Yoruba man, getting comfortable with an inter-tribal relationship, and working in the UK.
Where do you live, and when did you travel out of Nigeria?
I live in Liverpool, United Kingdom (UK), and I left Nigeria in 2023. I moved here for my master’s, but it feels more permanent now.
Why does it feel more permanent?
Life is better here. I was earning ₦55,000 monthly in Nigeria. If I wanted to do the same job here, I’d be earning over £2000 monthly. In addition to the money, there’s also a working system here. The UK just offers you a better life in almost every way possible.
It’s been two years since you moved. Have you settled into your new life?
Not exactly. I still haven’t gotten the job I want. Rent is monthly here, and it’s not cheap. I’m also saving up for my postgraduate study visa so I can stay in the UK. It costs almost £3,000, and I need to save up for it while footing other bills. When I finish paying that, I have to start looking for sponsorship. It’s just a roller coaster phase right now.
I’m rooting for you. Are there things that you’ve grown to love about your life there?
I have an amazing community here. Back in university, I joined a community of young Nigerian women, and it’s been great since then. They host events and parties, but that doesn’t happen as much as I’d have loved because we’re all super busy. I just completed a nine-hour shift, so there’s barely any time left to do other stuff. I hardly go anywhere these days except on date nights with my partner. With my friends, it’s always “Don’t worry, we’ll see each other next week”, but that “next week” quickly turns into months.
Did you meet your partner in the UK too?
Yes, I did. It’s harder to find a Nigerian partner who checks all your boxes here, but somehow, we got lucky.
Why is it harder?
If you’re looking for someone from your tribe, your options are limited. If you add that to the other specifics on your list, you’ll realise there aren’t many people you’d be open to dating. We had just four Nigerians in my class— two ladies and two guys. One was a married man, and the other was Yoruba. I’m Igbo, so a Yoruba man isn’t exactly my first choice (tribe-wise). But I eventually met my partner through a friend.
Is he Igbo?
Funny enough, he’s Yoruba. I had already made peace with the fact that I might end up with a Yoruba man before I met him. He’s currently in Manchester, which isn’t that far from Liverpool but he drives, so the distance doesn’t affect us that much. I liked him immediately because he never love-bombed me. The more I got to know him, the more comfortable I felt about him being Yoruba.
ALSO READ: “I Don’t Know Where To Find Single Men in Australia” – Abroad Life
How do your parents feel about the relationship?
My parents didn’t care about his tribe either. They just wanted to know if he was treating me well and whether a single mother raised him. It’s funny how his parents asked the same question about me. I wonder why the older generation is so particular about single-parent households.
LMAO. You mentioned returning from a nine-hour shift earlier; what do you do?
I work in a care home from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., which isn’t so bad. But the downside is that I work in Wales. The train ride back home is about an hour and 15 minutes. Sometimes, my shifts are back-to-back, but I don’t mind it. I’m hoping to get a job that lets me work longer hours.
Why?
The pay is hourly. They pay me about 12 pounds per hour, so the more hours I work, the more money I make.
I hope you get your dream job soon. On a scale of one to 10, how happy would you say you are in the UK?
I’d say nine. There’s room for growth and new adventures here.
Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).
