The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
The only thing Daniel (27) loves more than Ibadan is his South Sudanese girlfriend. But this love comes with a $10,000 bride price which is making him contemplate elopement. In this Abroad Life episode, Daniel talks about moving out of Nigeria and restarting his life in Australia to beat Nepo Baby allegations.
When did you first decide to move abroad?
I first considered it sometime in 2019, and I left Nigeria in October 2019. I currently live in Queensland, Australia.
Why Australia?
I chose Australia because there weren’t so many Nigerians there. When I checked the population of Nigerians in Australia at the time, they were around 15,000 or 20,000. I saw the figures, and I was like, “Yeah, this is my country.”
There was no real reason for me to leave Nigeria because I was living a pretty comfortable life; I was the last child of the family, so money came from everywhere. But something just changed in me after a while, and I told my dad that I wanted to move to Australia to get a master’s degree. He was so surprised because it wasn’t something I often talked about.
You said you chose Australia because there weren’t many Nigerians there; why was that important to you?
I was just tired of Nigerians. I was craving something new and unfamiliar. I lived in Ibadan before I left Nigeria, and I loved how chill the city was, but I couldn’t shake the urge to chase a new life. I was tired of seeing Nigerian faces everywhere.
LMAO. What faces did you want to see?
It wasn’t really about the faces. The funniest thing is that the friends I’ve made since I moved are still Nigerians. It’s only my girlfriend, who is South Sudanese.
So what was it about Nigerians living in Nigeria that made you move?
It was the hustle mentality and the fact that people were so quick to discredit people who have it easier in life. I mentioned that I was very comfortable in Nigeria; People quickly dismissed my hard work because they thought my father’s money was responsible for all my achievements.
It just got tiring to hear people always talk about my father’s money with the intention of discrediting me. It was almost as if people wanted me to struggle for everything in life and got pissed at the fact that I didn’t necessarily have to. Here in Australia, people see my hard work, not my father’s money.
So you left Nigeria to find your own identity?
You can put it that way. I was trying to prove a point to myself and everyone. The funniest thing is that we didn’t even have the money people thought we had. I went to a private university, and we lived in a nice house, but my monthly allowance in 2019 was ₦5000.
I also got an allowance from my siblings, but it wasn’t like I had a bag of money in my house. I just wanted to prove to people that I could make my own money and do my thing. To be fair, my dad is actually rich, but people are always too quick to assume that a rich father immediately translates to a rich son. My dad is very money-conscious and financially smart, so if it is not a need, he won’t pour his money into it.
You said you wanted to get a master’s degree in Australia. How did that go?
It went well. I finished in 2020. But during my first three months as a student, I wanted to return to Nigeria. I had no job then, so I still had to rely on my dad. He was paying my rent, but to get money for other things, I used to hike the rent fee and keep the extra change. Thankfully, I later got a job at a warehouse but balancing the new job and school was even harder, though things got better the next semester.
What changed?
I got used to how things work in Australia, and I made new friends. It was easier to make Nigerian friends in Australia because people see you as an individual, not your family’s money.
Another thing that made that semester easier was getting a new job. Then COVID-19 happened, and I ended up spending most of my university days indoors. We switched to online learning, and that felt like the best thing after sliced bread.
LOL. How?
I didn’t have to worry about waking up early to catch the bus. I could wake up at 8:50 am. to attend a 9 am class. I also got to save money, so I don’t hate the lockdown at all. The online classes lasted until I finished university.
So what has life looked like since you completed your master’s?
Life has been great. I’m working in tech now, and that’s one of the things that I’ve always wanted to do. I have a girlfriend now, and she’s the love of my life. I also have great friends around me, but I’m not going to lie; sometimes I miss Nigeria. I don’t miss the people, but I miss Ibadan. One of my favourite things is watching YouTube videos of okada men riding their motorcycles around Ibadan. I miss my city so much; It’s obvious that they call me Mr Ibadan in my church here.
Have you visited Ibadan since you left?
Nope. But I talk to my family on WhatsApp. If I miss my family, I can always pick up the phone and talk to them. For now, I have no real reason to visit Nigeria–My whole life is here but when I get married, I want to go to Obudu cattle ranch for my honeymoon. I might even end up going to Ibadan.
Honeymoon in Ibadan? Please don’t kill me.
I’m being so serious. Ibadan is the best place in Nigeria.
What makes Ibadan so special to you?
The rustic view of the city and the sound of Okada—you can’t find that anywhere else. The serenity and peace you’ll find in the city is also unmatched. I’m a proud ambassador of Ibadan.
I’m screaming. Let’s talk about the South Sudanese woman who’s dating an Ibadan ambassador. How did that happen?
We met on Instagram. Around December 2021, I posted something about how I would be one of the people wearing matching PJs the following year, and she commented, “lol,” but we didn’t start exchanging DMs until February 2022, when she posted something about men mistreating good women and me as the defender of my gender, I decided to do an explainer in her DM. That’s how we started talking, and we’ve been dating for over two years now.
Have you managed to change her mind about men?
Yes o. I’ve been representing Nigerian men well. If you ask her, she’d say the same thing.
Is this your first non-Nigerian relationship?
I would say this is my first serious relationship in Australia. The other ones were just vibes.
What does “vibes” mean?
We were just lying to each other and passing time with mutual consent. But this is serious; we know where it’s ending.
Love that. What’s the most interesting thing about being in a non-Nigerian relationship?
I moved to Australia as an adult, but she’s been here since she was eight. The difference in how we were raised is quite obvious, so we’ve had to compromise on some things. For example, if I say something in pidgin or Yoruba, I have to explain what I’m saying to her. I’ve also had to adjust to her culture–One of the most interesting parts about her culture is the bride price.
How so?
If she were getting married in South Sudan, I’d have had to buy about 80 cows. But since we’re in Australia, I would have to pay between $10,000 and $30,000. It depends on how much the bride has achieved in life. If she has a master’s degree, you’ll be asked to pay more.
Are you allowed to bargain?
Oh, you can bargain but they say if you value their daughter, you won’t try to lower the price.
You seem to have accepted your fate.
Let’s just thank God for life. When that day comes, whatever I have, I’ll pay. As long as my girlfriend is happy, everybody else will be okay. The funniest part is that she won’t even get one dime from this bride price.
Have you started saving, or are you waiting till you propose?
I’m not saving. I will pay whatever I have. If they don’t give me my bride, we will elope together.
Ah!
Yes, please. When my sister got married, her bride price was ₦1,500.
It is well. Has she met your parents?
She has spoken to my mom, but I don’t want my dad to know now. I’m currently 27, but my dad still believes that I’m not old enough to have a girlfriend. Everybody else in my family knows her. I know he’s going to be shocked that I’m not marrying a Nigerian, but my mom has accepted her.
How do you think your dad will react when he finds out that she’s South Sudanese?
He’ll probably want to know what happened to all the Nigerians in Australia. Whenever my friends are getting married, my dad always asks if their partners are Nigerians. He already knows that I’m a bit of a rebel, so he has no choice but to accept her.
I’m rooting for you guys
Thank you. I’ll send the GoFundMe link when it’s time.
For what?
To contribute towards the brideprice.
I’ll be praying for you. What’s your favourite thing about living in Australia?
If you’re not lazy, you’ll live a decent life. But my girlfriend is Australia’s best gift to me.
Are you aware that this isn’t Love Life?
You should probably feature us on Love Life. But since this is Abroad Life, I’ll say my favourite things about Australia are the friends and community I have here.
So how did you find your community?
My best friend is a Nigerian, whom I met in university. The other friends I’ve made are from church—you’ll find lots of Nigerians in my church. My three closest friends are from university, and others are from church.
You can’t run away from Nigerians, I guess.
You really can’t.
Is there any plan to move back to Nigeria in the future?
Oh, 100%. I’m going to move back to Ibadan and become the chairman of one LGA. The long-term plan is to shuffle between Ibadan and Australia.
But is your girlfriend aware that you have plans to go back to Ibadan?
She’ll be shocked when I tell her, but I don’t want to tell her yet. She knows how much I love Ibadan. She even made me a hoodie with an Ibadan-inspired design.
Jesus, this is serious!
It is o. She’s actually open to relocating to Nigeria. From the conversations we’ve had, I’m pretty sure she’s open to it. She has told me that she’s getting tired of living in Australia because she’s been here her whole life.
Love that for you. On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you with your abroad life?
7.5. I have a good life, an amazing girlfriend, good friends and YouTube videos of Ibadan. It’s only going to get better from here.
Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).
