Many Nigerians agree that the Nigerian dream is to move abroad in search of greener pastures. For most who have lived this “dream”, the hardest part is saying goodbye to old friends and opening their hearts to new connections — especially in a less community-centric country like the United Kingdom.
We spoke to seven Nigerians living in the UK about how they made their first friend in the diaspora. If you have recently moved or are planning to relocate, this article offers valuable insights to help you build and sustain meaningful connections.
“Find people with similar interests on social media and connect with them” — Ben (London, UK)
Ben*, 30, believes that social media is the best place to find friends when you’re a Nigerian living in London.
“I’m somewhat active on X, so sometimes, people recognize me when I’m in public. I always see that as an opportunity to form great connections, so I go beyond the typical small talk people make. I ask questions about them, exchange numbers and promise to keep in touch, which I always do. And I’ve never been turned down by any of the people I’ve met this way. We all crave human connection, especially in foreign countries. I also love to observe people on social media, find out whether we have similar interests, interact with their content and reach out to them if I believe we’ll make good friends.”
“Find a good religious centre near you “ — Aanu (Manchester, UK)
Aanu*, 20, dreaded the idea of starting over in a new country at first, but after finding a religious centre that prioritised community-building, she found it easier to settle into her new life.
“I had heard how lonely it was to live in the UK, so when my parents asked me to move there, I wasn’t exactly happy. But one random Sunday morning, I decided to attend service in any reasonable church I could find near me. I ended up in a Nigerian church and walked in while they were making a call for first-time attendees. They connected all the new attendees to a group called the Life Group, where I met most of my friends. Religious centres are great places to meet good people.”
“Try to connect with the Nigerians around you” — Odigo (Derby, UK)
When Odigo*, 24, left Nigeria to study in the UK, she expected her jovial energy to attract people to her, but what she didn’t expect was an unspoken racial division in her classroom.
“When I noticed that other races sidelined the Nigerians in my classroom, I didn’t attempt to make friends outside my race. All I had to do to make friends with the other Nigerians in my class was to ask if I could sit beside them. I’m not naturally the nicest person, but I had to be more intentional about forming friendships with them. Sometimes, all you need to do is just say hello. If you notice that the person isn’t open to conversing with you, you can keep it moving. But if they are, ask for their contact details and be clear about the relationship you want to maintain with them.”
“Your colleagues can be your friends” — Ebere (Birmingham, UK)
Ebere*, 32, doesn’t buy into the “your colleagues are not your friends” idea, especially when she and the colleague in question share similar values.
“I made my first friend at work. I was lonely then, but I was also trying to be careful not to fall into the wrong kind of friendship out of desperation. First, I paid attention to my colleagues, observed their values and studied their character. The good thing about working with people is seeing them at their highs and lows. After studying all of them carefully, I discovered that Hanah was the colleague who was the best friendship match for me. I asked her if she was open to being friends with me outside of work, and she was. So, I started inviting her to lunch and other social events. We’re no longer in the same city, but we are still close friends.
“Don’t be afraid to make the first move” — Emeka (Bristol, UK)
Unlike the other Nigerians we spoke to, Emeka*, 27, watered the friendship ground months before he moved to the UK to start his postgraduate studies, which paid off.
“A few months before my resumption, my school sent an email assigning me to a stream. I could see the other students assigned to the same stream on the dashboard. Two Nigerian students were on that dashboard, so I searched for them on LinkedIn, formed connections, and sent them a message. We started talking on LinkedIn, and when we felt comfortable enough, we took the conversation to WhatsApp. I was still waiting for my visa decision and was recovering from the financial consequences of being duped by a fake travel agent. One of those Nigerian students I reached out to sent me some pounds to assist with my moving cost. So when I officially moved to the UK, we were already good friends. I highly recommend making the first move and being open to forming those connections before you even leave Nigeria.”
“Initiate a 15-30 minutes post-meet virtual chat with the people you meet” — Tomiwa (London, UK)
Tomiwa* (33) doesn’t believe in using the word “friend” loosely, but he has a tradition that has helped him expand his circle since he moved to the UK.
“I made my first friend at work. I was alone in the 19th-floor cafeteria at my workplace, having lunch. I was the only one on a table that could take four people. One stranger came to the table and asked if they could join. With a big smile and a welcoming gesture, I offered the seat. A few minutes later, someone I had seen a few times at the office was passing by, and I invited them over, too. Before lunch was over, there were five of us at the table, and I became close friends with one of them. One tip I’d recommend is asking to take a picture with the people you meet, exchanging contact and initiating a 15-30 minute post-first meet virtual chat”.
“Don’t limit your friendship shots to one location” — Hakeem – London, United Kingdom
Hakeem*, 28, has never been able to relate to the “UK is lonely” theory, nor does he believe that solid friendships should be restricted to certain locations. He thinks that’s why making friends comes easily to him.
“I made my first friend here last summer. I was travelling to Birmingham, and I noticed this Nigerian-looking man walking towards me, and I offered him a seat. We started a random conversation that extended into one of my most cherished friendships. It went as most conversations went, and we discovered that we shared many beliefs, values and interests. I learnt that he wasn’t London-based and was only on vacation. As with all instances of friendship, I intend to build, I got his contact regardless, and we’ve been talking ever since.”
