Everyone and their grandmother is declaring to contest in Nigeria’s 2023 presidential election. A certain aspirant’s announcement has inspired more Nigerians to announce their own intentions to run for president on Twitter.
Their chances of winning are laughably impossible, but we rated their Twitter announcements anyway.
9.5/10
Audacious lie, check. Crisp campaign picture, check. Innovative slogan, check. Campaign promises that we all know are lies, check. It’s giving everything we expect from someone running for president.
5.5/10
Too much lighting. Can’t look voters in the face. More likely to be appointed Minister of Fashion.
7/10
Pro: He’ll legalise weed.
Con: Will spend national budget on owambe.
8/10
Obviously in the race to stop family members from starving. We can all understand that sentiment.
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8.5/10
The fit is presidential. The speech is precise. But we’re not getting carried away. We need some campaign promises. How long before semo is banned?
7/10
That rolling of the sleeves sells this candidacy. This is a candidate that’ll pretend he knows how to fix a faulty car just for the campaign pictures. Real presidential material.
7/10
Not a lot of poets run for president so maybe we should give this man a chance. The black and white vibe of the campaign picture gives us cause for pause, though.
3/10
Obviously not a serious person. Too lazy to roll out with a campaign picture.
8/10
We approve of a candidate that’s sincere even if he’s bad boy. He may do all the wrong things as president, but he’ll be entertaining as hell.
10/10
This passes the vibe check. Anyone that looks at this declaration and says it’s not a 10/10 must be Lai Mohammed’s protege.
5/10
Looks like Dino Melaye reincarnated. Will waste national budget on luxury cars.
6/10
Way too many pictures for a declaration. Interesting choice of location too. Will spend national budget on fine dining.
4/10
It’s always best to run away from candidates that use God to run for office. They’re all detty liars.
8/10
Pro: Three-day weekend that cancels Monday.
Con: Can’t look voters in the face.
4/10
Can’t quite place it but it looks like he’s running for the position of course rep, not a country’s president. Too young to run.
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