Let’s not deceive ourselves. When a person leaves their house to come and celebrate at a party, they’re also expecting that you will fill their stomach in return. Let us now look at all the drinks you’ll find at a Nigerian party, and why they aren’t bringing the drinks you want to your table.
Cocktail.
This is the only drink you need a visa to get in some parties. You literally have to have cards, special cards. You know you’re blown when people are hustling cards to get a cup of cocktail and it’s casually brought to your table! VIP wayyy.
Hennessy, Moet & Ciroc Gang.
The Unshakable Table, aka The Gentlemen’s Club. Full stop.
Velveta, Eva, Don Simon, Andre, and friends
You’re welcome, grab a seat and join us.
Star, Heineken, Goldberg, it’s all beer!
and they love it.
Got Juice?
Which one sir? Chivita or 5 Alive?
Excuse me, Can I have a can of Malt?
Okay do you want Maltina or Malta Guinness? We also have Maltex and Amstel Malta, I also have malt liquor and…
JUST GIVE ME MALTINA ABEG!
“We only have minerals.”
Please, just drink your Coke or Fanta or Schweppes or Parle Soda, eat your food, and be going.
Nestle Life, Eva, Aquafina. Let me drink my water and be happy.
At least I’m not destroying my liver.
“See bros please just give me any Bottled Water you have”
