You’re finally in University! So what if they gave you Yoruba education when you wanted Medicine? school is school!

Or did we lie?

You probably were a little confused when you got to your hostel. Is this a guard room? Were they robbed?

Surely there must be a mistake!

Only there’s no mistake, this is your life for the next 4-7 years. Let’s see what ASUU decides sha.

Brace yourself!

On a normal level, forget 4 man-rooms in Nigerian hostels. Multiply 4 by 5 and we can start talking

8 on the beds and 14 lying down is actually one of the good rooms oh!

If that’s bad, squatters can start dragging bed space with you. You’ can even hear “sorry, I didn’t know you wanted to sleep this night”

You snooze, you lose in a boys hostel. Facts only!

In the mornings, what better way to wake up than to the sweet sound of your hostel mate screaming for you to be born again?

He’s just trying to save your soul, pls pls.

Spiderman, okada and shot-put, If you don’t know what these mean, we can’t help you

If you know, you know.

If you ever dropped the soap when taking your bath, that’s the floor’s soap now

In fact, if you fell when taking your bath, just leave yourself for the floor.

When you were taking your bath and someone suddenly wanted to help you rub soap where you missed

Hello, hope all is well?

Did anyone else know a guy that didn’t even have admission, but somehow got bed space in Uni?

Ask what they’re doing and they’ll say they’re waiting for one or two things to click.

Those nights when NEPA takes light and boys can’t sleep, that’s when community therapy starts

That’s when you’ll start hearing boys complaining how they’re on their extra, extra, extra year.

If you didn’t suddenly realise you could cook when you were at your brokest, did you even go to Uni?

There is such a thing as water soup and it’s not as bad as it sounds.

When the atmosphere of relaxation is too much and boys suddenly produce drums and start playing from room to room

Those parties were actually the littest

The cruise in boy’s hostels was actually too much. What were your best moments in hostel?

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.