Have you ever wondered how a bride feels about her wedding day? Well, these five Nigerian women shared their wedding day experience with us.
Abike, 30
I loved it, and it wasn’t the typical Nigerian wedding. There were less than 80 people in attendance, and we didn’t do any traditional ceremony. My pastor joined us at a restaurant, and we served lunch to our guests after. There wasn’t even an MC. My husband and I were out of the venue by around 4pm. The only thing, I would change about the day would be videography. I would have spent more money on that.
To get the perfect day wasn’t easy, and a lot of fighting was involved. Our parents didn’t see why we wanted to get married this way. In their words, “why the secrecy?” Almost 6 years later, and my mum is still sad we didn’t do a traditional engagement. There’s also always that awkward extended family member talking about how we didn’t do it the right way.
Amaka, 34
My wedding was 5 years ago, but thinking about it always gets me upset. Especially when I remember the insufficient food and drinks and poor organization, no thanks to the in-laws. I wish I had invested in a wedding planner.
A wedding planner would definitely have brought better organization, vendors, and provided advice on better management of funds. They also might have been able to convince my parents to step up a bit more. My folks had the money but they were trying not to flaunt their wealth because according to Igbo tradition, the white wedding is for the groom’s family. My parents were in charge of the traditional wedding, and that day was amazing. They went all out.
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Binta, 26
I think the traditional marriage was unnecessary. A white wedding outdoors with an officiating priest would have been fine. It also should not have taken the whole day. There was too much pressure around it, and I did not like it. Everyone wants to be invited to your wedding and when they’re not, they take offense. I would have preferred to get married with only my family and friends in a small undisclosed location.
Jacinta, 26
My elder sister got married two years before I did. She did her traditional, church wedding, and reception on the same day. It was a total disaster, so I swore I wouldn’t do the same. I had my family’s backing, but it was the first wedding in my husband’s family and my parents wanted to be accommodating. They agreed to have everything on the same day when my in-laws asked.
The night before my wedding, I was at a tailor’s shop fixing my bridesmaids’ dresses. I made my hair, nails and any other bridal thing you can think of late into Friday, and this affected my bridal shower which started past 11. I barely slept for an hour at night. My traditional wedding was for 8 and at 6 my make up artist was nowhere to be found. The traditional ceremony was about an hour gone when I arrived. My church is very strict with time, and my service was for 10am. I had to change my traditional dresses in a toilet and change into my wedding dress all by myself in a cramped office under the judging eyes of my mother in law and different other people.
The MC we paid thousands of naira did not show up, and so he sent someone else who was not very good. My father in laws best friend who was also the chairman took over the job of MC because he didn’t like the pace the MC was going. My in-laws then insisted that the reception ends at about 4 p.m. when our friends were just arriving. Also, the DJ did not show up because my father-in-law called him and he thought he was not needed anymore. My wedding was annoying and whenever I randomly remember it, I get upset. Everyone says the bride owns the wedding day, but that was not my reality. Mine belonged to my in-laws.
Halima, 25
My wedding day was so stressless for me. I had so much support from immediate, extended and even my husband’s family. I had nothing to worry about. All hands were on deck to make sure things went smoothly. All I had to do was smile and be happy. What stood out for me was how unbothered myself and my husband were. Our families really outdid themselves.
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