Humans are far from perfect, and the same goes for relationships. But in a time when social media timelines are filled with happy couples, we asked eight Nigerian women what they hate about their partners.
“He goes MIA when he’s upset”
— Fortune, dating for a year plus
When I do something that upsets him, he just goes off. The longest he’s gone is two weeks, but honestly, I get coconut head, so being angry was valid. He’s been working on it though, learning how to communicate his feelings better.
“He’s stubborn like a goat”
— Tina, dating for four years
He’s great, but he doesn’t listen at all. If you tell him to go right, he’d go left. Just stubborn like a goat, LOL.
“He doesn’t know how to watch movies”
— Linda, dating for a year plus
This young man doesn’t pay attention while we’re watching movies. Whether at the cinema or home, he’ll just keep pressing his phone and then come back to ask what happened in the movie.
“He doesn’t know how to plan”
— Cindy, dating for four years
It’s not even about me or the relationship; he’s just bad at planning things. So it takes extra intentionality from him to prepare for things like parties, dates or simple activities. And this translates to nonchalance in some instances.
“He goes through my phone”
— Lilian, dating for about six years
He can’t seem to get his hands off my phone. Whenever we’re together after not seeing for a while, he takes his time to go through my phone. On some days, I confront him, and he agrees to going through my phone, other times, he denies it. And it’s just upsetting because I don’t even know the password to his phone.
“He’s not as expressive”
— Lola, dating for eight months
He’s not as expressive as I’d like him to be. For instance, when I’m giving him gists, I’d appreciate if he acted more interested, interjected with questions and just shared in the excitement. But alas. And his inability to express himself also happens when he’s upset, as it usually takes a lot of nudging for him to tell me how he’s feeling. I know that most times, he’s trying not to hurt my feelings, but I’d rather he just confronted me rather than bottling up everything.
“He makes me feel like an olodo”
— Rita, dating for three years
Some days he gets carried away when talking about his work because he’s into tech. And he forgets I don’t understand most of these things. Like I try, but some things are just so complex, and it makes me feel like an olodo.
“He tries to dodge his faults”
— Louisa, dating for about four years
I can’t say if it’s pride, but he has a hard time apologising. So even when he knows he’s wrong, he’d rather stay away than just say just apologise. And whenever I ask, he brings up excuses about being busy, but I know the real reason is that he’s trying to wait out my anger.
This interview has been edited for structure and clarity.
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